Because someone is minding MY BUSINESS!
I laugh at the immaturity that social media has brought forefront! All the woman that have blocked their newly significant exes as if his past behavior will not present itself... in 10, 9, 8 7, 6, 5 so on and so forth! Like a timebomb, she will wonder what the hell happened and how did I get here? #thecon
I think of the poor girl I coached a few years back. She was in such emotional turmoil because her husband used her in every sense of the word. To the point where she was so depressed she could not decipher up from down. A cute girl who at one time was vibrant. She lived life with flair and now was nothing but a domestic prisoner and a doormat for his intolerant behavior. It was not the life she signed up for and her board was a mix match of a life now and how she needed to find herself. A conjunct board of being lost in the world's shuffle. This is what narcissism does to a person. It robs them of their identity, energy, and joy. Bare bottomed out and bare minimum given to her by a man who needed a caretaker, not a partner. Steal take and rob! Until it's her fault for being no more! Lover lover, you don't treat no good no more!
Too many times what we think we are signing up for is not in the actual agreement or contract that we agreed to. Somehow it all gets lost in translation when one person is taking more than what the other is giving. The manipulation during the beginning con and all the love bombing that takes place to secure a position person believing they found their person. Their soulmate (after the fact he has already had 4 soulmates before her) that has lived in that same house! #Debbie 1 or 2 was it?, #Beth, #Shelly, #Teresa IDK there is a loooooong list! Trust me :D
At this point, it is all easy to write and speak about. Although the term narcissist has really only surfaced in the last 10 years; it has applied to the later boomers, Gen X, and their children the millennials. Mommy and daddy issues... It is a product of behavior not only based on entitlement, children who could not get their way (or children who got too much from bad behavior to be rid of them) or parents who felt they could not be attentive enough so, therefore, let me give give give making "that person" feel special the reciprocal expecting then everyone else in the world to look at them the same. BLAH BLAH BLAH Sorry not so sorry you are not special! Entitlement is a dangerous apointe' It allows someone to feel more important than someone else and to gain anything is to get it at someone else's expense. It is self-centeredness at its worst. The ploy is learned very little on and as they have grown they adapt a charm to fit whatever motive they are out to get. And seriously do not fall for the blame shame "you are never happy" because in reality they are never happy and it is never enough. Leaving you depleted emotionally, financially and mentally devastated. Oh let us not forget the cheating where if they can't get it from you while you are all secure, thinking "I am so lucky to have found him" gag... he has someone somewhere else giving him and blaming you for not getting "his needs" met. wink wink! Lock stock barrel you have sold every bit of belonging to move into where you are now the 9th in that line of succession.
The player that is formed in that position. How low can you go? They never level up. They stoop to all-time lows. There is no standard in who they choose because they have no moral compass. Their self-worth and esteem are at rock bottom so therefore anyone they pick is from the clearance rack. Bargain bottom bar barrel; Has beens passed around, married several times, or never married because they are gold diggers looking for a schmuck like him to take care of them because he has shot his mouth off trying to look like the big guy on campus. And engagement rings... let's talk about them shall we! Little tokens of "pretend" while his d.ck is promising every skank that he will see them again. Lets get drinks. #blueeyeshadowedbikerchick with meth teeth. Oh let us not forget her!
But then again there is that mirror imaging. A reflection of what they really want but can never keep or be. The comparisons of victimhood. You lost someone, they lost someone. Your husband had a heart attack, his father had a heart attack. You had to raise your children and grandchildren, well he was left behind and ran out on {only because he beat her up and cheated on her driving her mad, while they were both addicted to a substance.} having to fend for his kids while running a business (from a bar stool) Wah wah wah! Oh and please lets discuss the love of boats. Let us not forget about those sinking ships... conceived and married. What commonalities they must share. Bet the Titanic had more press! #humor
Where I want to write this in my book, let us call this chapter "I shot the Sheriff" or more like she moved in that house all size 24+ who bought him a mattress, a TV new dishes and who knows what else. That one had the promising lawsuit against the city a cool mil that he would have nicely benefited from. And that hole in that bilevel glass in the door, yeah that one! Let's just say she thought that if she busted in and somehow got in it would have prevented her from trying to get in the back door ass first through the glass. Did I mention she carried a gun and threatened to shoot his dog and my kid? A string of phone calls she made to me threatening my child! Guess that was all left out. Funny how that works! Well that police report read, Mr. .... pushed her down a flight of steps. Assaulting an officer. How exciting! It will make one of the funniest chapters read yet because see while that was all happening, he was calling me to do something! What? call the police? Uh, didn't she do that?
Oh of course then lol, can't make it up, finally being released from the hospital and trying to locate where he was, in a not-so-undisclosed bar (go figure) there I walk in to find them leg and leg all cozy and sick to my stomach disgusted. Where he screams "why does this always happen to me? What this has happened before... oh yeah with his wife! For days I had tried to tell him what was medically going on with me. Seeing now why I was left to fend for myself as I was sick, almost dying from toxemia and another situation. Ah, good times... the rest is a blur. Although, I do remember driving like Sally Field in Smokey and the Bandit. Breaker breaker we got a runaway! Eastbound and down...
Mysteriously all of her + size clothes lay on his pool table for weeks after supposedly it ended somehow all those clothes disappeared. Viola like magic! Let us see this date puts us at May of 2011 because somewhere by Oct of 2012 the next fatty appeared who also moved into his house! Man if walls could talk! It would have nothing on the ghost of Mississippi! More like madness on that streetcar named Desire! Right? #trainwreck
Where looking back and having to repeat these stories to my students and what real dumb fu.ckery looks like and explaining the clown that is driving that crazy bus. All I can say is the gaslighting that went on. All the time I was trying to heal and take care of my household and child while keeping down a job I hated only because all of my customers and so-called friends knew and they fkn said NOTHING!
Betrayal trauma is a real thing! and I wish the karma back that they deserve for never revealing what they knew. Here is the funny and irony in all of it Jim and Debbie from that dive-ass tavern that the f.ck boy called his family; told me every single time he cheated! It was right before Debbie's death, " she said you are done! Don't you dare deal with him again." This was Jan of 2013 right after I was diagnosed with Leukemia! Debbie died that Feb. Jim continued to come in a see me until he too passed.
Jim is buried 4 rows up from my dad! Never to be forgotten! I dream of them often!
So while I sit here on this Wed compiling notes and reliving quite a few trigger situations... All I can say is when there is a game and something to be had at someone else's expense and the wrong person is blamed and put in harm's way... learn to understand how the narcissist works and all the flying monkeys called in for a few beers, a good time and such camaraderie!
I take full accountability (unlike him for any of it during an 8 yr period) for my emotions, family and the love I thought I had been fighting for. Apparently, I was fighting to be lied to, taken advantage of and used in every which way possible til I was not needed for one more thing to be taken from me.
So while you think that guy is so great and you are so glad for his new life... I wish the karma all deserves! It is not my place other than to write about it! use it as textbook example and put distance with great peace in my life now!
Just imagine really what his children witnessed? But I was the bad guy!
More chapters to write! Stay tuned!
Fate turns on a dime!
Kitryn Marie
