The Path That Chooses...
It would seem, I have a stream of new readers, or I stick with my original thought, Someone is combing through 11+ years of writing. What are you trying to understand?
The biggest question I get is: How did I get to this point? and Why did I choose this art, communications, and writing path? As much as I would like to answer the path chose me, I will say, if It was not for the ability to use social media as my medium, my minute college classes and or life coaching studies would have never taken flight or given me any type of recognition in regards to my art and communication work. I still have a long way to go and more to achieve. The road to success is paved with hard work, failure and perseverance! Combined with willingness and stubbornness and tenacity meshed with the ability to understand it all comes with hard knocks. I don't give up! I pause, reflect, redirect, take long breaks and then pick up the pieces to assemble in a very baroque way!
Frances, my rescue and I are adapting to a new normal. As I am training her to a new surrounding, I am stuck in mine, reluctantly. Anything that can fall apart has... been a constant since February. It is stifling. Focusing on the bigger picture has been met with opposition. My plan always has been to teach, create a line of merch, do photography and board horses on my property. Adding to it by lending a helping hand in the food and beverage industry... only the idle and the wicked stand still Or those on their deathbed. While many are focusing on retiring and pensions and or someone else to ease their personal burdens, this is not the road for me! It is only a struggle if you do not see the labor of love and if you are not fighting the fight for more, you might as well call your life over!
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To settle, and to be talked into someone else's ideas. I have never been one to completely give up what I have worked for. As little as it is... its mine. What type of woman sells her all to be talked into, so someone else's household is made convenient? What type of woman lives through traumatic events, having to be strong for everyone else, keeping finances afloat and a roof overhead for small ones to be conned into brick and mortar with the false/unknown promises of stability, keeping up pretenses that it's just better for US? Who? What type of woman does that? {The house is never hers! She is then a replacement for the last one or the one before and the one prior too...}To fill a spot and to be a stand-in because something else or someone else did not work out... (Not I!)
It is though the woeful-hearted woman who has seen death and birth and is down on hands and knees praying that all the pain be taken away. A wishful prayerful heart who wishes for concrete and something that sticks because the pain of bearing one more loss is too much. The blinders that this person has on sworn on faith and taking the offering a "solid structure" that can't be blown away, towed away or washed away by weather, fears, and tears.
It is the older woman who has let life define her and it shows, a crooked face; worn with sadness, grief and misery, looking for copasetic. She has given in and relinquished ...self. She now can be defined and controlled by another's desires because his life has gone miserably wrong and he can't be alone! He has settled on the lesser of because he convinced her, this is what love looks like. #narc101
Life coaching: I want to insert this! If that man has been a financial trainwreck all of his life, feeding off of the woman in his life, siphoning money off his parent until the inheritance was his and before God and his neighbors saw more women staggering up the front steps with him, police cars, and moving trucks than Moses had commandments, would you not question where your money would be going after the sale of your #trailersforsaleorrent ? #redflags
You are not adding value to his life... #enable / you are aiding and abetting, trying to rescue in the name of codependency because "he loves me and needs me" "I will make his life better because he said, " all the others did him so wrong" While he cheated on all of them and physically brought harm to each.
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All I am saying is while this year has brought more upheavals than doans has pills, I am not giving up myself or my ideas for the sake of codependency or to make life comfortable for someone else. My obstacles don't alter how I meander and saunter through this life. At this point because of my age; why would I settle on someone else's THE SAME AS ALWAYS BECAUSE ITS EASY FOR THEM!
Growth is painful and it is uncomfortable... it also gives you better options to shed and move forward away from what you have always known! It all has to fall apart before it gets better. It is the old ways falling away from predictability! AND MUNDANE! It's the excitement of the unknown!
Frances and I are challenging the course together. Where she was a rescue, I am not! To scrounge...and or to forge, fighting for a place in someone else's pound? No thanks! This path I have chosen is long and tedious. What recognition I am seeking is to be determined by what comes next via social media as my medium or to go more public in person as I continue the road to success. It is paved with hard work, failure and perseverance! Combined with willingness and stubbornness and tenacity meshed with the ability to understand it all comes with hard knocks.
I don't give up! I pause, reflect, redirect, take long breaks and then pick up the pieces to assemble in a very baroque way!
Labors of love!
Kitryn Marie
