Pretty In Pink... Perfect In Paisley!

"Lessons In Life Are Repeated Until Learned" The truth has a way of surfacing. It is what eats at the conscious. Looking in the mirror, he thought, "it is what it is. " Even if he could go back and fix it, he wouldn't know where to begin.  It was one big mess and he had created an awful lot of collateral damage. He missed her. There was no denying that. There were parts of that relationship with her, he could not replace with another nor could it be forgotten. She was not one easily to forget. She carried herself differently. She had a certain class that could not be explained... and mostly no words to put into phrases that defined her character. Not quite a mystery but never  understanding or putting a heavy finger on why he loved her? Why else over all of these last couple years did he still try to reach out to her? A restless guilt. Actions he could not explain.  He could not let go, there was an attachment.  In his distorted perception of  love, ther...

And what doesn't kill you along the way, drops you to your knees and sucks the very breath out of you! Often times, I have gasped for air hoping at some point I will finally be able to breathe with ease. Catching my breath while hyperventilating is not an easy feat. It is only when I have fallen to the floor and I have cried hysterically because I could not  figure anything out, exhausting every single emotion, to only find it was time to stand again and just go do anything. Resilience is a remarkable trait. It's the one thing I have in common with a rubber band. I keep trying to bounce back a little stronger...stretching myself as far as I can to find direction, purpose and meaning... and a whole other road to travel. I realized I had ... had enough when I took my last road trip.  It finally all came together... I was grieving the loss of many years with someone I had put my life stock in. In the years after his disappearance, I desperately was trying to regain my healt...

Crazy was what crazy could be... something about attraction and chemistry, something about banter and wit, something about recognizing a wild spirit and wanting to be a part of it. That is what she wanted... and what she craved. Domestication was so over rated... but really there was nothing wrong with wanting it either or least the good parts of it. Some ground to build something... some kind of base for stability. Isn't that what everybody wanted? ( at least for some sound portion of their life) She should not have been made to feel bad because in a heightened discussion the mere mention of building (in theory)... a life... a future, she was shot down and rejected in horror with shock. Shaking her head in confusion she couldn't get it through his head she did not mean tomorrow. It was a random comment a figure of speech  and sincerely not meant at that time in any literal sense but Good god, she thought, " that's how you find out what someone wants. You throw out ...

Sometimes it's just easier to write as if I am writing a chapter in one of my books... to jump in the mind of one these fictional people that have taken on  real life persona's. The imagination does funny things when you want certain conversations to take place in real life. As creative as I can be... this mind constantly strives for the right verbage hoping at some point in this life, I...  get to say all the things that need to be said: but for now... in story form it would go something like this... ************************************************************ You would have thought by now seeing him would have been easy but it wasn't. The rage that filled her body and the sadness that riddled her heart was uncontrollable. She hoped he had a horrible sensation of panic when he sighted her. Thinking, "my god I can not believe what I did to her. I don't blame her for hating me." Not understanding any of his actions or why he did what he did was unbearable...

I can not believe, the last time I wrote was in March...  This mental and emotional hiatus I have taken ... has taken longer than what I expected. The term get on with life has shaken me to the soul purpose of I can not believe the last couple of years and all that has occurred. I am still trying to sort puzzle pieces but I am coming along nicely, I will add. I am happy to say, I have come up for air and I have taken on a few new creative mindful projects and I have allowed myself to go out on a date or two. I see a familiar smile that once graced my face and I am rhetorically trying to figure out and find a boundary. This new world of communication, dating, texting and what is allowed has got to be redefined. What ever happened to boy meets girl, girl likes boy and they are available to each other ?? Via phone conversation or in person... have you tried kissing through a text? (giggle) Is it so many are so damaged at this time around they have become guarded with a foot over...

I try to understand what the heart wants and why it chooses the way it does... and what the mind talks it into. I recently posted on my Facebook Writing Page a little meme about choices. What we pick, why we pick. It is of some importance to our heart and I can imagine what really makes it soar. I can guess the flip side to that would be the easiest choice and therefore settling for the consultation... second choice... A matter of Convenience; thinking well this is all there is.... or should I just walk away! That reflection may very well be the premise for both the books I am trying to write. I have two strong female types that have a lot of responsibilities. Both are very capable of taking care of themselves but are both determined to hang on to what their heart desires.  The two hierarchy types both believe that if you love enough and stand steadfast in commitment all things work out. Although the types of men both these characters love have been significantly damaged...

The reality of quiet, when the phone doesn't ring, the offers stop coming and you sit and contemplate your next move. After months of aligning all the stars, gaining information and sharing research to all the prospects have come to an end. Your mind finally can come to a suppose-ed rest. The body goes limp, and weary takes on a whole other meaning. You are exhausted... Even as I sit here and type out this little scenario I am tired and emotionally drained. For a complete year, I have poured my talents, heart and soul into the universe... releasing feelings from the deepest part of my female being to a higher power so he/she could take over and make anything ... SOMETHING happen. On a course of a different routine... If ?? I couldn't have the guy... then could I at least have the gig? LOL It seemed like a fair request! ;) Never wanting to lose my faith, my sense of humor or a true sight of reality... I do have to ask, OK, Now what? I have learned all the answers come ...

 I am going to be simulcasting a live pod cast in March... with the brilliantly talented Co-Author  Carmel Morgan  , Rapid Change for Busy Heart-Centered Women and Creator of  Bad Girl Wisdom    www.badgirlwisdom.com Follow her and show her some love...  We got a Mid-West train linking to that good old West Coastline! Bring me that sunshine... God!!! I am ready! To learn more about her check out her video... Enthusiasm for all things good! http://youtu.be/glR_L08PjwA Meet Me In St. Louis, Kitryn Marie

(My original copy 2012, told in first person. I retain rights to this original pc. of work  ... ) Grand in All Its Glory Upon descending the stairs of this magnificent building, I knew I was walking in the footsteps of history and culture. The Peabody Opera House formally known as the Kiel Auditorium, adjacent to the Scottrade Center is a full event facility. This arts and community center has housed some big name entertainment as well as holding enough events rich in history, it will forever live within the deep pages of St. Louis’ event and venue text. According to history, (per www.peabodyoperahouse.org) in 1919 a planning commission set forth a plan to construct a Municipal Auditorium.  Its design was born out of what was called the City Beautiful Movement. “The elegance of the design was to create monumental grandeur into cities to create moral and civic virtue among urban populations.”  It was also the same design that was created and used for the 1904 World’s...

What do you get when you cross an Air Force Veteran, a Marine Veteran, A Body Builder, A Wrestler, A Golden Glove Champ and a Vivacious Zumba Instructor? You get the hottest going private gym seen in this town! Located on the outer road of highway 44 and Bowles Ave ,1732 Westpark Center, Suite A, Fenton Mo., You will find "The Proving Ground" a private veteran owned gym. When Will Mathews and Mike Glunt came together, It was definitely a meeting of the fit and sound mind. These two Armed Service Veterans  came together with a vision and an extensive fitness background, along with quite the accomplished military discipline to see it all come to fruition. The mission... "Prove Yourself! This was not going to be a cookie cutter operation!" Co-owner, Will Matthews, 29, served active duty along with reserve, 2004-2012, While In the United States Air Force, he served in the 55th Security Forces Squadron, 386th Expeditionary Security Forces Squadron and 375th Se...