Expectations... That Is What It Comes Down To
My dad used to say, " a man does what a man wants to do all his life until he wants to do different. All his life he just does... one thing, one way, until one day he just does something different!
Expectations that is what it comes down to. What one person expects for their life and the many miserable mistakes one makes trading off one thing only to get something worse. If misery was a state I think I saw it!
I am not perfect. I have made many mistakes. Opinionated probably. Judgemental oh at times... (just because it doesn't fit into my realm) mostly cynical and that came from being betrayed by someone who claimed to love and watching loyalty get thrown out a window while making a stupid stupid stupid ... choice.
A Woman mostly plans her life by the time she is 12. She knows somewhere in the back of her mind what she wants for her life... and ironically she mostly sticks to it. On a rare occasion, she might be influenced but she already knows what will suit her. That will be her life and usually that is what she looks for. At that age too she already has a type ( maybe it's subconscious but yes she has a type).
Happily ever after comes in so many different forms... it all goes back to the expectation of what one wants for their life. It's obtaining the vision already in one's head and living it. And it is a bonus if you get your type!!! I call that the twin flame... the other half of what compliments you. (Physically, mentally and emotionally)
I have a type... always have. The all-American boy. One who has roots deep into something... who has a belief system. Who works hard and doesn't throw in the towel looking for something better. One who realizes home is where it's at. One who understands you don't need to be joined at the hip but that hip should not be too far not too touch! Someone who says I love you and has all the actions to match the words. One who understands the term partnership and or help mate because it's a two-way street but on some odd occasion one of them might have to carry the other... and no one gets to act like they are single. There is a common courtesy rule... How would you feel if it was done to you? REVERSE THE ROLE!
I don't have all the answers but this I know you can not keep replacing person after person after person sliding someone into a roll that doesn't fit your expectation. Thinking that ... that person is going to fill a void that is there. Then throw kids in the mix... your's, mine... etc It is gonna be complicated and messy and awkward and frustrating but it goes back to that belief system... you learn to compromise and show respect so therefore respect is given and there is no other way.
Everybody's interpretation of love is different also. What some claim to be too clingy some claim never to be touched. You can not be someone's champion of love if they do not love themselves first! If a person does not know their own worth no amount of love is going to fix or fill that void within themselves... A woman will beat a dead horse loving one man trying to prove she loves him and or vice versa and it will still never be enough! The cheerleader in love gets drained loving someone who just can't love the way she expects or the man that wants to play the victim because he can not take responsibilities for his own infidelities.
In that belief system, there must be dialog. There has to be open uncomfortable conversations. You don't get to avoid the real nitty gritty of the mechanics of what you are trying to build! There is an expectation of what each needs to be doing with and for each other! All for the same reasons!!!!!!!!!
You can not be a Saturday night person living in a Monday morning world. You go out... you come home. You work on the house... the yard... the kids... the meals. You work! You save money! You budget and you build a nest egg of some kind. Security doesn't always have to do with money! With the same plan in mind... towards something with each other!
The expectation of intimacy, it's who knows you inside and out! Who gets you! Who knows where it all stems from. It's who you let touch you. It's who you allow to get the closest to you. Where both can become one! ONE!!!! The one whom you look deep in their eyes because they are your world and will always be! There are NO replacements!!! You can have sex with anyone... you can be addicted to the thrill but its who you can be raw and intimate with! The one that knows the curve of your spine... the one that touches you in places beyond what sex can do. The one who fits in your arms and intimately being with them is like trying on a glove. It fits perfect.
Expectations that is what it comes down to. What one person expects for their life and the many miserable mistakes one makes trading off one thing only to get something worse. If misery was a state I think I saw it!
I am not perfect. I have made many mistakes. Opinionated probably. Judgemental oh at times... (just because it doesn't fit into my realm) mostly cynical and that came from being betrayed by someone who claimed to love and watching loyalty get thrown out a window while making a stupid stupid stupid ... choice.
A Woman mostly plans her life by the time she is 12. She knows somewhere in the back of her mind what she wants for her life... and ironically she mostly sticks to it. On a rare occasion, she might be influenced but she already knows what will suit her. That will be her life and usually that is what she looks for. At that age too she already has a type ( maybe it's subconscious but yes she has a type).
Happily ever after comes in so many different forms... it all goes back to the expectation of what one wants for their life. It's obtaining the vision already in one's head and living it. And it is a bonus if you get your type!!! I call that the twin flame... the other half of what compliments you. (Physically, mentally and emotionally)
I have a type... always have. The all-American boy. One who has roots deep into something... who has a belief system. Who works hard and doesn't throw in the towel looking for something better. One who realizes home is where it's at. One who understands you don't need to be joined at the hip but that hip should not be too far not too touch! Someone who says I love you and has all the actions to match the words. One who understands the term partnership and or help mate because it's a two-way street but on some odd occasion one of them might have to carry the other... and no one gets to act like they are single. There is a common courtesy rule... How would you feel if it was done to you? REVERSE THE ROLE!
I don't have all the answers but this I know you can not keep replacing person after person after person sliding someone into a roll that doesn't fit your expectation. Thinking that ... that person is going to fill a void that is there. Then throw kids in the mix... your's, mine... etc It is gonna be complicated and messy and awkward and frustrating but it goes back to that belief system... you learn to compromise and show respect so therefore respect is given and there is no other way.
Everybody's interpretation of love is different also. What some claim to be too clingy some claim never to be touched. You can not be someone's champion of love if they do not love themselves first! If a person does not know their own worth no amount of love is going to fix or fill that void within themselves... A woman will beat a dead horse loving one man trying to prove she loves him and or vice versa and it will still never be enough! The cheerleader in love gets drained loving someone who just can't love the way she expects or the man that wants to play the victim because he can not take responsibilities for his own infidelities.
In that belief system, there must be dialog. There has to be open uncomfortable conversations. You don't get to avoid the real nitty gritty of the mechanics of what you are trying to build! There is an expectation of what each needs to be doing with and for each other! All for the same reasons!!!!!!!!!
You can not be a Saturday night person living in a Monday morning world. You go out... you come home. You work on the house... the yard... the kids... the meals. You work! You save money! You budget and you build a nest egg of some kind. Security doesn't always have to do with money! With the same plan in mind... towards something with each other!
The expectation of intimacy, it's who knows you inside and out! Who gets you! Who knows where it all stems from. It's who you let touch you. It's who you allow to get the closest to you. Where both can become one! ONE!!!! The one whom you look deep in their eyes because they are your world and will always be! There are NO replacements!!! You can have sex with anyone... you can be addicted to the thrill but its who you can be raw and intimate with! The one that knows the curve of your spine... the one that touches you in places beyond what sex can do. The one who fits in your arms and intimately being with them is like trying on a glove. It fits perfect.
Expectations... that is what it comes down to!
If misery was a state... yeah I saw it!
Just like you can not tell a man what to do. You don't tell a woman where to put her heart. Time doesn't change a thing... miles upon miles... it doesn't change.
And it was said, " if we had any sense... we would figure how its suppose to work!"
My dad used to say, " a man does what a man wants to do all his life until he wants to do different. All his life he just does... one thing, one way, until one day he just does something different!
Meet Me In St. Louis,
Kitryn Marie
More like he just disappeared
