Art Imitates Life and Then Directs Action

 I have written so many times on many subjects. It has almost become rhetorical and redundant but here we are! I have been up since 2:00 am. After sleeping the day away yesterday, the 15000 steps which equals 6.5 miles a day caught up to me, and the body said, drop! Without fail I had no other choice, I couldn't move yesterday if someone paid me! Fridays are my day off and may be my only day off for a while. Oh ya know "us girls looking for someone to take care of us and that is so into ourselves" {I laugh with that evil undertone} continues to seek opportunities to get out of the fresh hell we've been thrown into. Anger may be an understatement and the resentment I hold towards... is something I am having to work through. It's not the work or the job or even the new establishment I'm lending my hand, it's the false promises that were made that strung me along for too many years and the chances too many were given to improve a lifestyle that I can not wrap my head around. How does a person not want a better life especially when your health is at risk. Now if I can get that stupid Pat Benatar song out of my head!!! "Have we become a habit... too many times I tried to tell you" so on so forth! No, we don't! You lie! {again evil laugh}

Focus focus focus...hokus pokus!

I am doing everything in my power to stay off of social media! I may check back in after the election! Do not force your political thoughts on me. Do not tell me I am not working hard enough or smarter enough to stay afloat. Do not direct your wokeness on me. That is on you! Trust me I understand anomaly but I do not understand what the hell has happened to the human race! The world is a mess and I have gone broke -broke since this party has been in the people's house or is it Tyler Perry's sound-set? It is a stage and it is a farce and I want no part of it! If you do see me on social media it will be only to promote my art and communication business! Teaching group painting lessons or how to put a vision board together based on psychology and life coaching!

I have thought long and hard about this... I need to finish the 2 books I started writing almost 10 years ago. Like I said in a video earlier this week, back then I was approached by a publisher for my photography and for a book I had started. When it came down to the details and promises right before I was to sign on the dotted line to finish the deal, it all fell through. I could not tell you the amount of disappointment that came with that blow. A $90,000 deal is a big thing and it would have been the cerise sur le gâteau/Icing on the cake: to have made a bad situation benefit on my behalf. Some people should not be messed with and like I was always reminded, if you want to be spoken or written about nicely; then possibly you should have been a cheating asshole abusing the hand that fed you! (big smile) My creative side was just waiting and the small amount of college writing that I studied was to come in hand and the later years of studying life coaching was to take flight! After the deal fell through, scrambling in another direction, it was the teaching that took flight and I launched my instructional enrichment classes. Through those classes I was able to combine my love of painting, using my visual side and my adaptation of life; using Life coaching, character behavior, and awareness in teaching others how to put a vision board together. I REITERATE they are art enrichment classes! It is art and how life imitates the flow...

For years I watched patterns repeated. In those years I also tapped into my intuition almost becoming psychic. The information I attained became enlightening and also entertaining to see how people who repeated those same cycles didn't vary from the tree they fell from. Once you understand product of environment it becomes clear how entitlement, the mother wound or the father complex plays a huge role in how people choose partners. Fodder for writing and it's up to the reader to decide if is it fictional or is it fact? Nonetheless its art and interpretation. How it relates to the reader is on them and how it resonates and reflects with their own character behavior. It is the person who needs to understand how their actions played a part in someone's life and how it affected and changed the trajectory of all parties involved! 

When I started writing the first book "When He Had Her" the words flew off as second skin. The main character Hank, a player who believed his own lies to achieve material possessions and monetary gain, alienating his children from their mother to play the victim in his own story. A ploy about fatherhood, alcoholism, and entitlement; he did not care who he played or how anyone got hurt as long as it benefited him. Entitlement as an only child and a mother who held tight secrets to keep her child in financial protection. His father a controlling manipulative man who abused both him and his mother not only emotionally but physically; a trait that Hank learned to mimic to get his way through life. Never controlling his temper or regulating his own personal emotions. If he couldn't persuade through a backhanded charm, he would steal it to manipulate the situation. How he played the many women who roamed through a revolving door making each of them give up their own lives to only have their lives destroyed in the very end. His legacy of words, "Do not attach yourself to anything you can't walk away from" of course unless it benefited him financially because he never learned to connect to anything that would make him emotionally invested, that was a vulnerability he could not afford to confront. It was easy to choose a variety of less desirable women and use them for what they had until he would get bored. Commitment was just a word he used like the women he used and took from. Carefully eyeing up what they had to make him look good! His image mattered only and it was more than apparent by his pick of choice, at the time, women having no defining image, there wasn't a type other than not attractive disproportionally built worn, and haggard-looking gal that knew nothing of his distorted behavior, and usually, by the time they would put two and two together, it was too late. Secure in his house with nowhere to go, gaslighted by the disturbing lies he told and the reasons why he wasn't at home. (When a man can't come home it is usually because there is always someone else in the wings to pay him a bit more attention because one woman is never enough and his ego has to have something to  compare to and then use it against you, why you can't be enough)

So we will see in my next writing how this story unfolds and the woman he never ever should have done wrong... some chapters need to be rewritten, retold and defined to finalize the last chapter.

I started out as a writer and a photographer. Its where I need to go back to get that book deal, I have no problem writing where I left off! 

Reminders, Art imitates life and life imitates art! You decipher fact or fiction! How it resonates depends on you and your reflection of character behavior! 

Kitryn Marie