Compliant Will Never Do!
Right now I am a mixed bag of... country songs and gibberish! "When I got what I got, I don't miss what I had... the old me before belongs to the past" "My day starts with a coffee and ends with a wine..ain't afraid to take chances and ... if I have that come get me look in my eye"; "Baby do you know you sound a little crazy?" {this is where I laugh at myself} I am anything but crazy...
The year ended on the saddest note possible. I lost my little dog, Gunnie. My traveling companion. My pain in the rear mop that had bat ears covered in fur. He thought he ruled the house that was until the big guy (as my sister calls Bruce my 110lb boxer showed up) I can't go into the details other than something obstructed his airways and his lungs collapsed. It was the most heartwrenching experience as I tried to do CPR and revive him... I could not. My Yorkie mix went through the most horrific of experiences with me as I muddled through some of my worst moments of a decade. After the ghosting of my previous relationship, the dog waited in the window for 3 weeks waiting for that van to show up in the drive. Every time he heard ladder racks he would come running from underneath the bed and jump on the couch to look for... Finally, after weeks the dog finally gave up and hid a bit more under my bed. Under my bed became his solitude for his fat rounded belly that made the most annoying bark or growl ever! I may not ever recover from this one.
Losses happen and as we all have experienced the ups and downs of 2020, I call upon Glinda the good witch for her appearance. "It's safe! You can come out now." Those few iconic words need to be heard and the general public needs to understand they have been played in the worst way! People who refused to think for themselves and fell for the gaslighting. You do not quarantine healthy people! You do not cut off the livelihood of the population in order to have fear instilled so local government can make good on the thievery over federal funds. The real common sense would have been to quarantine all medical staff and personnel for 3 months. Hospital campuses should have been set up for all those that came in contact with anyone that had contracted (for reals not the fake number counts) virus.
We did learn not to want too much for 2020 and it was more than apparent that we had no choice but to be happy with what we had. The problem I have with that is most people live their life like that normally just settling for what's in front of them becoming very complacent and never looking for what else could be much better suited for their life, home, and how they choose to make money. The whole mentality, "well this is my bed and now I'll just lay here and be miserable because I don't have any choice!" seemingly applies to more than what 2020 offered us. It is pathetically sickening. Not to mention those that are weak-minded are now so afraid to leave their house and live life. The mental abuse from every politician and that fake DR who's ego was bigger than any virus caused severe emotional damage that will take years to undo. It is one thing to be happy and content with a life that you have set out to achieve but it's a whole other horse of another color when someone is telling... "You will be happy. You will make do and this is the life YOU ARE GOING TO SETTLE ON!" Sorry but Bull Sh,t!
For someone, anyone to tell me this is what I have to settle on, deal with, put up with, get used to and learn to be happy with... this new normal is absurd! It takes me back to a phrase thrown at me years ago in a heated argument because I would not conform to a certain person's way of living. "Why can't you be like everyone else?" Well, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE EVERYONE?
In a world of cookie-cutter individuals and people who get stuck into routines because they cannot think for themselves and it just easier to do what everyone else is doing for the sake of... they end up a mush bag of nothing. Their shell of a body goes into auto-pilot mode with no gumption to do anything else with their life waiting for a year to retire so they can then do what? If nothing was worked on and achieved stimulating a desire to do something else to be constructive to occupy their brain and spend time well spent... the body dies. There is nothing it has left because they chose a life of complacency. Going through the motions because they fell into a stance that gave an illusion of stability. Again 2020 very much proved there is no stability and as easy as it was for many to get that paycheck...many lost theirs and the way they have had to go to work. These facts alone have been what I have based my business coaching on. A person can not live a complacent life and take anything for granted. There has to be multiple sources of actions to survive physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.
If a person can only do one thing and something happens or worse they get hurt and can not do that one thing... how are they to survive? A person's worth is based on how they can contribute to all relationships in all matters accordingly. I have said this for years, "if a man's financial house is not put in order he becomes unbearable to be around" "if a woman's heart is not in the right place, there is nothing anyone can do to make it right and she will appear difficult to please." When neither have anything constructive to keep the relationship working harmoniously all matters will go to sh.t, pleasing neither because each has needs that are not getting met. The biggest misconstruction is, it is not the other person's job to carry the emotional strain or the financial burden for what's been lost in any translation due to a circumstance. This where co-dependency shows up. This where the other person is just expected to deal with what's going on and comply because it makes it easier on the other. Outdated modes surface from childhood rearing and poor past choices always return rearing an ugly head. It is just human nature to resort back to something that is familiar even if it has proved not to work in the past.
It is very difficult to keep boundaries in times like this. People don't know how to act or react. They think they are helping when in fact they become enablers. 2020 provided a lot of enabling and proved to be the biggest year for co-dependency. People were just expected to be happy with what they were forced to deal with.
There were some very nice in-between moments for me in 2020. I had to search hard remembering easy does not always make it right and then separate from a very outdated way of living and thinking. I repeat a phrase over and over that is heard in my head, "if you would not want it done to you, why would you think I would be ok with it?" Now that is a random phrase; too many others though forget REVERSE THE ROLE. The expectations of how life should look and the image we all have in our heads for the life we each need to be living needs to be re-examined. I am not like everybody else and I never have been.
As we see restrictions being lifted do not take anything for granted. If a politician can use your health against you think what else he can take away from you. Be an independent thinker!!!! Start that new hobby. Look at a new career direction. Put your strong heart and hands into the right vocation so you can move forward and out of your current mind stance. Your lot in life has not been foreshadowed it is just where you chose to stay in the same old mindset thinking it was gonna work out for the best...
Please keep my Gunnie dog in your thoughts. He was loved by many and I am truly devastated by his loss.
2021 be kind and prosperous to each of us. Allow us to grow in hope and in love!
Kitryn Marie
