THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!

 This is your life, now isn't it? This is what you have chosen to follow you through all of your trials and errors, triumphs, and failures! The agonizing mishaps of your choices; some mediocre, to not so good, to the ones you let slip through your fingers because there was not enough follow-through to match with your words. The ease and comfort of your compliance or noting it was too hard to change modality, just too much effort, too much work to mentally rearrange the life you have kept saying you've wanted.

Now I am not throwing shade nor am I criticizing (whoever is reading this) but in the space you work, live, {in head} dwell... THIS IS YOUR LIFE! All of your steps, behavior and actions have gotten you right where you are and where ever you have gone, THERE YOU ARE! I have said a million times people do not change. Creatures of habit because it's just ... what they know.

I have always said, "with whatever your choice, choose well. There are benefits and there are consequences." Timing will always be a factor but so will hindsight. Life and its hurdles, obstacles and the chutzpa it will take to get you over all of them. A great big set of... to make the changes necessary in your life because one day, you might look back and have so many regrets for the things you could have done but chose not to. The routine and the bed you made just easy to go with the flow, going with the motions instead of sinking deep with your self and taking inventory on how all would sit within your gut when a sign of the time hit close to home. Influenced by a paycheck or some dollar amount that easily could be stacked or the opposite end of that... a paycheck that had no attachment to it with no value to what you have been worth.

This past year, like many, have said, it's not about what could be bought or what you needed materialistically but how you have lived true to what you need to survive on to be happy; Not content, making do with the hand that's been given and definitely not because that is what someone else has wanted. Its been a tough road for so many when the reality of so many things has been a matter of "we are just wired differently. This is not the life I want."

There is no blame but what one deems as deeply satisfied, couch side with their partner, full belly, and mindless TV, it is a hard watch for the other person whose mind, body, and spirit has had another vision of what life is supposed to look like. A body that has worked itself into overdrive with nothing left to give is an empty shell of existence. I never ever understood why a human puts themself into that mode when knowingly, they are adding destruction of the body and premature old age has set in. Settling down and happy after is not supposed to be this type of a version. No one should grow old before their time and be ok with that!

Now do not get me wrong, a mind and body with work they love and all the labors they put into it, deserve the rest it needs but then the next day as feet hit the ground they go running because it is embedded with a passion and a desire to do what they love because of a mission. A healthy mindset and work ethic often times has nothing to do with a regimented workforce that is controlled by the almighty dollar or the security of routine. Yes we are all wired differently and what one needs to hoard to keep their life fulfilled depends on what they have been stashing and the emotional attachments they have to their ideology of what it means to work and create an income.

My dad and his money; A very hardworking man who thought he could take his money with him. He abused his body until it was too late. He would put himself through day-long routines just so he could hoard the almighty dollar. His very existence had to do with how much he made, how much he saved and how much he could hold over any of our heads when we needed.  That right there is probably the biggest reason I just look at work and income ethics a bit differently.

A recent conversation I had with a work associate. We were talking about all of the lockdowns and the people who have not been able to work and then the conversation turned to what was I going to do over the next few weeks without having a gig to go to. She went on and said, "you have lived your whole life in survival mode. This should not be as difficult as many will be making out of this." 

Let me tell you, I have bills and household expenses. I am not disregarding the responsibilities I need to attend to the things that afford where and how I live but this I will say, having a hobby that I have been able to make some money at has been a blessing. Not only does this hobby turned generated (small) income $$$$ given me a sense of purpose but it has also taken up time/ keeping idle hands at work of another kind. In order for me to keep clarity and sanity, I have to keep busy. I can not sit and wait! I have to keep creating and I have to keep striving for that bigger picture. I do not EVER  want to look back and say, "well I waited on someone else to give me the life I so dreamed of having."  In my very astute stubbornness, I have no patience waiting on someone to find their ambitions and who wants to keep saying and making accuses..." well when we have that next house, land or outbuilding... etc"

We all have a love language and that is not it... and it will never be. A woman is turned on by that love language and what does it for her is someone that has the exact same measures, practices (health routines) vibrant in existence, etc that she has. My days of playing house are over. Co-dependent and the enabler who is all just fine when he keeps giving and giving because he thinks this is the way life is supposed to be. It takes away from what that woman needs to be in order to feel alive, productive and most attractive.

It is not an easy life but it is my life! Yes, this is my life!

I am an artist. I instruct! I am a writer, speaker and business coach. I produce a line of merchandise and I promote products for other companies. I have a YOUTUBE channel and I am on various social media platforms. I teach creative-minded women how to find their voice and how to take their gifts and talents and show them how to create multiple streams of income based on what they know how to do! So their soul is fulfilled based on purpose and passions that have a mission to share!

I would love for you to join in on one of my classes either in person or online. Yes, this is my life and I want to show you, how you too can find the courage to leave what you think you know in order to have soo soo much more!

Kitryn Marie