A Reciprocal Obligation Is Detrimental To One's Soul
Really I am not sure what direction this writing may go. As much as I would like to talk about this year's challenges I am really compelled to talk about the need to write. The importance of putting in writing the who and the why to your story and defining your motives behind why your reader, follower, customer, client, needs to know the significants of how YOU began.
First off let me express, I hope your Christmas was magical. (If some sort of magic does not live in your life. You are not living your highest sense of who and how you are supposed to be living) I want to believe if you have been following me for some time, that I have encouraged you not to make resolutions for the New Year but to set intentive goals that:
1. You can achieve with happiness.
2. The purpose of the goal is to be intentive with a heartfelt plan.
3. Don't give up... whatever the obstacles... keep the goal always in mind. (allow no one or nothing to stand in your way)
The journal that I received last Christmas is chock full. On top of, I have 3 if not 4 notebooks jam-packed full of motives, ideas, dreams, scripts and meme's, I have been keeping since 2015. I wrote, In order to make some sense of my thoughts and feelings, I needed to CREATE from an author's view. I needed to write as if it had been someone else life lived and I was stepping out and detaching so I could release every emotion to womankind! Abandonment leaves a wide window open with unexplained motives and feelings and words that still needed to be said laying all over the place in the worst of orders. When a person has no clue for a reason... we develope crazy coping skills to survive. Writing was one of my survival skills as was photography and getting in my car and driving far enough away to seek clarity. (More on that later)
Emotionally distraught and deliberately hurt leaves for great writing material. As a writer, I have learned you don't just start and leave it be but you continue on every damn level of intensity until you have set out to accomplish some sort of resolution to the issue you have been left to deal with. While I was in the process of writing and taking pictures and finding my voice, I just happened to stumble upon creating a business. This is where the challenges arose! The frustrating fails of not getting the desired attention to the correct audience so there could be money exchanged for products and services that I was putting together. (More on that later)
Now through writing and telling a story, some fictional and some flabbergastingly true, I was healing. Not just heart and mind healing but physical healing from a miscarriage that was not attended too, the lingering effects of that issue and the women's issues that followed then to be diagnosed with a form of Leukemia due to a staff infection that turned into septic toxemia from an incident that had happened years earlier. The weight that I had packed on due to... Never once really seeing the damage to my psyche' that had been in play. Then let's add the person I had been involved with for 8 years and all of his cheating, drinking and narcist abuse antics only to once and for all disappear with an obnoxious obese woman. ( something no one understood, on top of the facts for the latter parts of those years of that relationship I was called fat with a few other derogatory degrading terms...accusing me of the most absurd motives) Now let us talk about shutting down and turning off. (Nah, No lets not)
Focusing on building my business became my obsessional focus, desperately trying to leave( a temporary job in life) an unhealthy industry of blatant assholes with the most serious of addictions (drugs and alcohol) made my life a living hell continuing with the tenacity and drive to become something NO ONE WOULD HAVE EVER EXPECTED. A life and business coach with an emphasis on teaching based on the talents that I had already in me. A dedicated and driven woman will dive as deep as she can into herself and tear apart every fiber of her being to understand what it is she has to offer to society at large when she is DESPERATELY SEEKING CHANGE. (Only a selfish person will tear her down only seeing what he can do to take away, diminish and destroy what she is trying to become and build.)
My words my story had become my anthem. My determination to never let love again become the deterrent to living a higher calling. The most confident and intelligent of people will stay single healing all broken parts (for years and even decades ) before allowing anyone close enough to get in. Now, this form of inspiration and advice is not for EVERYONE because we live in a CO-DEPENDENT society. But allowing someone to take up space, residency and draining energy (because they are not happy with life) consumes a person's being. I have repeatedly said, "in order to change an environment one must leave an environment." but in that same term if you are not happy with who you are with... the only difference in leaving an environment is logistics.
In my teaching to women through writing and even speaking, I have formidably reiterated, I am not responsible for how someone else feels, nor is that person responsible for my happiness or how I feel. {and whoever is reading this applies to you too} A reciprocal obligation is detrimental to one's soul. A person can not be everything to everyone. It is not possible! Period the end... Not! And although there may be many things in common with a same intended outcome in mind... the harshest reality is being able to get through the mundane and the boring of simplicity waiting for a change ( situation, environment, finances, chemistry, affections etc...) when in fact it is what it is and if it is not there now. Odds are it is not going to magically appear. It goes back to my original theory, "People only see things for how they want to see things and not for how they really are" because it does not fit into their narrative or agenda.
I am not who I used to be at all! I can not try to fit myself into some box... of nothingness because there is this sense of ... "well someday." Ekert Tollie describes life as being present in the moment and finding joy in the right now. Again through my teachings, my happiest moments and most fulfilling desires comes from being not attached to someone else's way of _______________! My most productive classes and marketing thru writing, photography, and speaking come from when I am on my own. This does not take away at all the incredible experiences that I have been able to find great adventures in over the last several years... but my focus is and will continue on building what I need to do for my growing and evolving business endeavors.
My dad always told the story of how I received my name. If I was to be a boy, I was to be named Guy. He liked short syllable names... Hence Kit. He had said in jest but I am sure with the most resounding truth he meant it; "We will call her Kit. And as she needs help throughout life we will just tell her "DO IT YOURSELF KIT" Sadly I have taken on that sentiment as a shield of honor. Taking help or receiving assistance kills my psyche and makes me feel less than... considering everything I have been through and fought to eradicate. So for those women waiting for the right moment to do something on your own...now is the time to take what you have and start right now with what you have to work with!!!
Challenges are the obstacles that make us see clearly. Making us come to terms with what is not working from all angles. Writing, journaling, speaking, photography are cathartic tools that help us to focus on where we need to be. Most people are not afraid to write etc... they are afraid to start. They are afraid of change because they are so used to the codependency life has taught them. It is ok to say, " I love you but I do NOT want this. This is NOT conducive to MY reality. This is NOT healthy towards the way I want to live.
And... anyone who tries to make you feel bad for remaining in your interdependence needs to come to terms with their own idea of "SELF" and the growth that comes from remaining ALONE! No one on this earth is going to love you more than you can love yourself. It is not selfish to care for your own health and personal needs. If you do not like yourself how in the f..k do you expect anyone else to ... plain and simple!
My words my story will remain my ANTHEM but that is not what I am taking with me in 2020. The last decade and the people in that narrative do not existence any longer. It was a bad dream that I am now waking up from. It does not define who I have become it has though allowed be to go back... waaaay back to who I originally was with the original goal in mind. The higher self towards a more purposeful way of living doing what I can to teach and inspire living by example with no means for CODEPENDENCY. A woman is whole by herself without needing complacency and conforming to someone else idea of what works for them both.
I do not expect everyone to jump on this bandwagon.(thus far they haven't) Some people like stuck it is just easier. I will remain sending and planting these seeds for 2020 for the lessons that need to still be learned. My challenges have been my marketing strategy and getting before the correct market so others can see there is another side to life, to live and to make money. Social media has such a 2-fold and the reality of what some want you to believe is a huge myth. I have struggled more than not. Although my following has grown thru a few media I am not where I wanted to be financially for the end of 2019... but I am afloat. Raising tides lifts ships! Still not looking for that million dollars just a few more clients and students willing to try something new and different and start to approach life in a 5-D fashion.
I am truly going to be focusing on writing and teaching quite a few journaling classes. I'd like to get back to my travels just me and my camera... girl in a car leaving for adventures on her own! My art classes may take a drastic turn. (More on that later)
As an entrepreneur, you change it as you need. There are no laws that determine you need to stay with what does not work. I may take a small sabbatical (maybe) a vow of silence HA! redirecting with the same goal in mind for later this year! but if I go silent... don't worry. I will be back stronger than ever with more to say!
Id like to leave you with a homework assignment; Study your WHO in your story. Study your HOW. Come to understand your WHY.
2020 Is a whole new decade with new characters, motives, plots and plans that can make the rest of your life the journey you had always hoped for! The challenge you have behind you no longer exist. Your vision quite clear for whats up ahead!
Happy New Year
Kitryn Marie
#writer #speaker #influencer #artist #educator #teacher #instructor #artist #creative #author #lifecoach #personalmentor #businesscoach #stlouismo
First off let me express, I hope your Christmas was magical. (If some sort of magic does not live in your life. You are not living your highest sense of who and how you are supposed to be living) I want to believe if you have been following me for some time, that I have encouraged you not to make resolutions for the New Year but to set intentive goals that:
1. You can achieve with happiness.
2. The purpose of the goal is to be intentive with a heartfelt plan.
3. Don't give up... whatever the obstacles... keep the goal always in mind. (allow no one or nothing to stand in your way)
The journal that I received last Christmas is chock full. On top of, I have 3 if not 4 notebooks jam-packed full of motives, ideas, dreams, scripts and meme's, I have been keeping since 2015. I wrote, In order to make some sense of my thoughts and feelings, I needed to CREATE from an author's view. I needed to write as if it had been someone else life lived and I was stepping out and detaching so I could release every emotion to womankind! Abandonment leaves a wide window open with unexplained motives and feelings and words that still needed to be said laying all over the place in the worst of orders. When a person has no clue for a reason... we develope crazy coping skills to survive. Writing was one of my survival skills as was photography and getting in my car and driving far enough away to seek clarity. (More on that later)
Emotionally distraught and deliberately hurt leaves for great writing material. As a writer, I have learned you don't just start and leave it be but you continue on every damn level of intensity until you have set out to accomplish some sort of resolution to the issue you have been left to deal with. While I was in the process of writing and taking pictures and finding my voice, I just happened to stumble upon creating a business. This is where the challenges arose! The frustrating fails of not getting the desired attention to the correct audience so there could be money exchanged for products and services that I was putting together. (More on that later)
Now through writing and telling a story, some fictional and some flabbergastingly true, I was healing. Not just heart and mind healing but physical healing from a miscarriage that was not attended too, the lingering effects of that issue and the women's issues that followed then to be diagnosed with a form of Leukemia due to a staff infection that turned into septic toxemia from an incident that had happened years earlier. The weight that I had packed on due to... Never once really seeing the damage to my psyche' that had been in play. Then let's add the person I had been involved with for 8 years and all of his cheating, drinking and narcist abuse antics only to once and for all disappear with an obnoxious obese woman. ( something no one understood, on top of the facts for the latter parts of those years of that relationship I was called fat with a few other derogatory degrading terms...accusing me of the most absurd motives) Now let us talk about shutting down and turning off. (Nah, No lets not)
Focusing on building my business became my obsessional focus, desperately trying to leave( a temporary job in life) an unhealthy industry of blatant assholes with the most serious of addictions (drugs and alcohol) made my life a living hell continuing with the tenacity and drive to become something NO ONE WOULD HAVE EVER EXPECTED. A life and business coach with an emphasis on teaching based on the talents that I had already in me. A dedicated and driven woman will dive as deep as she can into herself and tear apart every fiber of her being to understand what it is she has to offer to society at large when she is DESPERATELY SEEKING CHANGE. (Only a selfish person will tear her down only seeing what he can do to take away, diminish and destroy what she is trying to become and build.)
My words my story had become my anthem. My determination to never let love again become the deterrent to living a higher calling. The most confident and intelligent of people will stay single healing all broken parts (for years and even decades ) before allowing anyone close enough to get in. Now, this form of inspiration and advice is not for EVERYONE because we live in a CO-DEPENDENT society. But allowing someone to take up space, residency and draining energy (because they are not happy with life) consumes a person's being. I have repeatedly said, "in order to change an environment one must leave an environment." but in that same term if you are not happy with who you are with... the only difference in leaving an environment is logistics.
In my teaching to women through writing and even speaking, I have formidably reiterated, I am not responsible for how someone else feels, nor is that person responsible for my happiness or how I feel. {and whoever is reading this applies to you too} A reciprocal obligation is detrimental to one's soul. A person can not be everything to everyone. It is not possible! Period the end... Not! And although there may be many things in common with a same intended outcome in mind... the harshest reality is being able to get through the mundane and the boring of simplicity waiting for a change ( situation, environment, finances, chemistry, affections etc...) when in fact it is what it is and if it is not there now. Odds are it is not going to magically appear. It goes back to my original theory, "People only see things for how they want to see things and not for how they really are" because it does not fit into their narrative or agenda.
I am not who I used to be at all! I can not try to fit myself into some box... of nothingness because there is this sense of ... "well someday." Ekert Tollie describes life as being present in the moment and finding joy in the right now. Again through my teachings, my happiest moments and most fulfilling desires comes from being not attached to someone else's way of _______________! My most productive classes and marketing thru writing, photography, and speaking come from when I am on my own. This does not take away at all the incredible experiences that I have been able to find great adventures in over the last several years... but my focus is and will continue on building what I need to do for my growing and evolving business endeavors.
My dad always told the story of how I received my name. If I was to be a boy, I was to be named Guy. He liked short syllable names... Hence Kit. He had said in jest but I am sure with the most resounding truth he meant it; "We will call her Kit. And as she needs help throughout life we will just tell her "DO IT YOURSELF KIT" Sadly I have taken on that sentiment as a shield of honor. Taking help or receiving assistance kills my psyche and makes me feel less than... considering everything I have been through and fought to eradicate. So for those women waiting for the right moment to do something on your own...now is the time to take what you have and start right now with what you have to work with!!!
Challenges are the obstacles that make us see clearly. Making us come to terms with what is not working from all angles. Writing, journaling, speaking, photography are cathartic tools that help us to focus on where we need to be. Most people are not afraid to write etc... they are afraid to start. They are afraid of change because they are so used to the codependency life has taught them. It is ok to say, " I love you but I do NOT want this. This is NOT conducive to MY reality. This is NOT healthy towards the way I want to live.
And... anyone who tries to make you feel bad for remaining in your interdependence needs to come to terms with their own idea of "SELF" and the growth that comes from remaining ALONE! No one on this earth is going to love you more than you can love yourself. It is not selfish to care for your own health and personal needs. If you do not like yourself how in the f..k do you expect anyone else to ... plain and simple!
My words my story will remain my ANTHEM but that is not what I am taking with me in 2020. The last decade and the people in that narrative do not existence any longer. It was a bad dream that I am now waking up from. It does not define who I have become it has though allowed be to go back... waaaay back to who I originally was with the original goal in mind. The higher self towards a more purposeful way of living doing what I can to teach and inspire living by example with no means for CODEPENDENCY. A woman is whole by herself without needing complacency and conforming to someone else idea of what works for them both.
I do not expect everyone to jump on this bandwagon.(thus far they haven't) Some people like stuck it is just easier. I will remain sending and planting these seeds for 2020 for the lessons that need to still be learned. My challenges have been my marketing strategy and getting before the correct market so others can see there is another side to life, to live and to make money. Social media has such a 2-fold and the reality of what some want you to believe is a huge myth. I have struggled more than not. Although my following has grown thru a few media I am not where I wanted to be financially for the end of 2019... but I am afloat. Raising tides lifts ships! Still not looking for that million dollars just a few more clients and students willing to try something new and different and start to approach life in a 5-D fashion.
I am truly going to be focusing on writing and teaching quite a few journaling classes. I'd like to get back to my travels just me and my camera... girl in a car leaving for adventures on her own! My art classes may take a drastic turn. (More on that later)
As an entrepreneur, you change it as you need. There are no laws that determine you need to stay with what does not work. I may take a small sabbatical (maybe) a vow of silence HA! redirecting with the same goal in mind for later this year! but if I go silent... don't worry. I will be back stronger than ever with more to say!
Id like to leave you with a homework assignment; Study your WHO in your story. Study your HOW. Come to understand your WHY.
2020 Is a whole new decade with new characters, motives, plots and plans that can make the rest of your life the journey you had always hoped for! The challenge you have behind you no longer exist. Your vision quite clear for whats up ahead!
Happy New Year
Kitryn Marie
#writer #speaker #influencer #artist #educator #teacher #instructor #artist #creative #author #lifecoach #personalmentor #businesscoach #stlouismo
If you would like to be informed/notified of upcoming classes please send me an email @ kitrynmarie@gmail.com leaving all your contact information.
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Jan 2020 look for my new YOUTUBE videos... SUBSCRIBE to stay informed!
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