No Confines To The Direction
Life really does seem to be a whirlwind right now. It just happens to be one of these times in life where anything goes, there are no confines to the direction. Can you say that? Have you not learned the best-laid plans never go accordingly anyway so why not enjoy the "whatever happens" moments. If we learn to live in the moment, you never miss the opportunity at hand. When you live in the moments and go with the flow with no real plans made and you learn you can relax knowing you don't have to control a thing...nothing is forced and a certain clarity sets in. Ya know that clarity that makes you see the real in all things. No false pretenses and you don't have to be anyone then who you are. "To thine own self be true"
It was once said, "never attach yourself to something you can't walk away from." Funny about attachments! Is it because you become so dependent on the situation you lose sight of who you are? You find yourself meshing into the other person...losing your identity! Is it because you can not emotionally connect so you have an out? A foot over the fence in case you need to quickly have an escape route! Is it because you have not learned the difference between co-dependence and individuality as a couple? The things and situations that make you grow in love! (over a period of time) Love at first sight is far and few between ( I don't dispute it does not exist but...) often an infatuation that fades. There are certain characteristics that we are drawn to but often seen as an aesthetic appeal other than an emotional bond/connection that does not last.
Co-Dependent: It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual's ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.
Attachment VS Love: Attachment is where you become self-centered. You tend to feed your needs with these particular things and people. We get attached to our personal belongings, a special place, routines, environment, atmosphere, almost everything. Being attached leaves you needing that person for your sole dependence. Attachment is not an emotion but LOVE is...the opposite of attachment. It allows you to be who you are freely expressing a "giddiness" that excites within and ignites a passion. The reason for closeness and intimacy. Forming an emotional bond that is almost next to Godliness. Love is actually an act an overwhelming sensation that summarizes the context of the meaning.
People confuse the two, jumping too quickly, failing to see what is real and what is in the idyllic image they have in their head. One-sided co-dependents expect the other person to jump into their life and immediately find interest and become the second skin to how they exist. (live) never letting the other person have an interest or a life of their own. (This is separate from having a common interest)
EX: He has the same set of friends, hangs same place time after time, partakes in certain activities, belongs to a certain club, goes to the same boating environment and just EXPECTS the woman who he is involved with now to jump right into a slot. He never allows her to have her own outside activities of which he never attends or takes part in. His self-centeredness covertly demands she now has the same interest... and because she is co-dependent will mesh into a life never realizing she has lost her own identity and has become isolated from her own friends, interest and activities that she used to have. It is narcissistic behavior on his part which coincides with her co-dependency.
I have seen a handful of women lose them self and become so dependent on their man... that she has forgotten who she is and what she likes. That is not love becoming his life! It is detrimental emotionally and a danger in mental health.
Love allows you to be an individual having separate interest giving you the freedom to explore what makes you happy and giddy; bringing the interest into the relationship not expecting the other to jump in but to have an option to join if the interest is there! It forms a bond finding a connection on an emotional level. Loving a person does not dictate what they are allowed to do... once love is bonded it becomes a commitment to the other with the understanding; they are two separate people who love each other that has separate interest, that from time to time come together doing the same! It is healthy! That is what a healthy realtionship does!!
I recently just returned from a trip with my guy! A well-deserved trip for him! A familiar place for me although we explored different parts of the quad cities this time. It was a five-day road trip... exploring and finding new adventure. Something we both take interest in! Coming home, we both resumed our "normal" routines. He went back to work and picked up where he left off with his side gigs and commitments, I continued with my work(setting up classes and finding a few new side gigs) and finding a new place to do more horse training. He has his life and I have mine! The common love we have is because we each understand there is no need for the co-dependency. We each have a common interest and enjoy fishing and the lake life... and in July we shall go for another week. It is the freedom within our relationship to be who we are and have the individual interest to keep our relationship interesting! It is our bond that is formed stronger when we go away... I'd like to think at some point he will take part in the horses that I so love but it is his choice! and vice versa for any of his interest... that I may indulge in with no pressure! Being in that healthy relationship you do not need to mesh into one another. It then becomes boring and monotonous... and plans in the making of failure!
Yes, right now life is a whirlwind! The love that has developed is based on more than an attachment. He loves that I have different types of interest. He loves the excitement in my eyes when I talk with such enthusiasm about my work. He understands my need for autonomy and clarity for my peace of mind! He is forever inquiring more on the horse thing! I try to pick his brain and ask about different aspects of his work always following with "what was the highlight of your day?" Odds are I will never work his trade but to understand what he does and why he does is something I need to know. It is all part of the bond for this life we are trying to achieve.
It just happens to be one of these times in life where anything goes, there are no confines to the direction. Can you say that? Have you not learned the best-laid plans never go accordingly anyway so why not enjoy the "whatever happens" moments. If we learn to live in the moment, you never miss the opportunity at hand. When you live in the moments and go with the flow with no real plans made and you learn you can relax knowing you don't have to control a thing...nothing is forced and a certain clarity sets in. Ya know that clarity that makes you see the real in all things. No false pretenses and you don't have to be anyone then who you are. "To thine own self be true" To love and to be loved... what more can we ask of! "Do not attach yourself to anything you can't walk away from" is the most unhealthy statement ever made! and should be stricken from anyone's vocabulary!
Meet Me In St. Louis,
Kitryn Marie
PS. If you would like to learn more about healthy relationship goals, I have an opening for my June 28th Life coaching session. Email kitrynmarie@gmail.com to learn more.
It was once said, "never attach yourself to something you can't walk away from." Funny about attachments! Is it because you become so dependent on the situation you lose sight of who you are? You find yourself meshing into the other person...losing your identity! Is it because you can not emotionally connect so you have an out? A foot over the fence in case you need to quickly have an escape route! Is it because you have not learned the difference between co-dependence and individuality as a couple? The things and situations that make you grow in love! (over a period of time) Love at first sight is far and few between ( I don't dispute it does not exist but...) often an infatuation that fades. There are certain characteristics that we are drawn to but often seen as an aesthetic appeal other than an emotional bond/connection that does not last.
Co-Dependent: It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual's ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.
Attachment VS Love: Attachment is where you become self-centered. You tend to feed your needs with these particular things and people. We get attached to our personal belongings, a special place, routines, environment, atmosphere, almost everything. Being attached leaves you needing that person for your sole dependence. Attachment is not an emotion but LOVE is...the opposite of attachment. It allows you to be who you are freely expressing a "giddiness" that excites within and ignites a passion. The reason for closeness and intimacy. Forming an emotional bond that is almost next to Godliness. Love is actually an act an overwhelming sensation that summarizes the context of the meaning.
People confuse the two, jumping too quickly, failing to see what is real and what is in the idyllic image they have in their head. One-sided co-dependents expect the other person to jump into their life and immediately find interest and become the second skin to how they exist. (live) never letting the other person have an interest or a life of their own. (This is separate from having a common interest)
EX: He has the same set of friends, hangs same place time after time, partakes in certain activities, belongs to a certain club, goes to the same boating environment and just EXPECTS the woman who he is involved with now to jump right into a slot. He never allows her to have her own outside activities of which he never attends or takes part in. His self-centeredness covertly demands she now has the same interest... and because she is co-dependent will mesh into a life never realizing she has lost her own identity and has become isolated from her own friends, interest and activities that she used to have. It is narcissistic behavior on his part which coincides with her co-dependency.
I have seen a handful of women lose them self and become so dependent on their man... that she has forgotten who she is and what she likes. That is not love becoming his life! It is detrimental emotionally and a danger in mental health.
Love allows you to be an individual having separate interest giving you the freedom to explore what makes you happy and giddy; bringing the interest into the relationship not expecting the other to jump in but to have an option to join if the interest is there! It forms a bond finding a connection on an emotional level. Loving a person does not dictate what they are allowed to do... once love is bonded it becomes a commitment to the other with the understanding; they are two separate people who love each other that has separate interest, that from time to time come together doing the same! It is healthy! That is what a healthy realtionship does!!
I recently just returned from a trip with my guy! A well-deserved trip for him! A familiar place for me although we explored different parts of the quad cities this time. It was a five-day road trip... exploring and finding new adventure. Something we both take interest in! Coming home, we both resumed our "normal" routines. He went back to work and picked up where he left off with his side gigs and commitments, I continued with my work(setting up classes and finding a few new side gigs) and finding a new place to do more horse training. He has his life and I have mine! The common love we have is because we each understand there is no need for the co-dependency. We each have a common interest and enjoy fishing and the lake life... and in July we shall go for another week. It is the freedom within our relationship to be who we are and have the individual interest to keep our relationship interesting! It is our bond that is formed stronger when we go away... I'd like to think at some point he will take part in the horses that I so love but it is his choice! and vice versa for any of his interest... that I may indulge in with no pressure! Being in that healthy relationship you do not need to mesh into one another. It then becomes boring and monotonous... and plans in the making of failure!
Yes, right now life is a whirlwind! The love that has developed is based on more than an attachment. He loves that I have different types of interest. He loves the excitement in my eyes when I talk with such enthusiasm about my work. He understands my need for autonomy and clarity for my peace of mind! He is forever inquiring more on the horse thing! I try to pick his brain and ask about different aspects of his work always following with "what was the highlight of your day?" Odds are I will never work his trade but to understand what he does and why he does is something I need to know. It is all part of the bond for this life we are trying to achieve.
It just happens to be one of these times in life where anything goes, there are no confines to the direction. Can you say that? Have you not learned the best-laid plans never go accordingly anyway so why not enjoy the "whatever happens" moments. If we learn to live in the moment, you never miss the opportunity at hand. When you live in the moments and go with the flow with no real plans made and you learn you can relax knowing you don't have to control a thing...nothing is forced and a certain clarity sets in. Ya know that clarity that makes you see the real in all things. No false pretenses and you don't have to be anyone then who you are. "To thine own self be true" To love and to be loved... what more can we ask of! "Do not attach yourself to anything you can't walk away from" is the most unhealthy statement ever made! and should be stricken from anyone's vocabulary!
Meet Me In St. Louis,
Kitryn Marie
PS. If you would like to learn more about healthy relationship goals, I have an opening for my June 28th Life coaching session. Email kitrynmarie@gmail.com to learn more.
