Just as There Are Rules of Engagement There are Rules For Becoming Intimate
Just as there are rules of engagement, there are rules for intimacy. Intimacy cannot be faked. A person can have sex with anyone and fake that but to have true intimacy it is learned through trust. Trust takes time to build. The true-end result or the happy ending does not just come from an explosion of bodily fluid. Oh don't get me wrong that particular act is quite the finishing touch to sex... but that is not what intimacy is all about.
It is extremely difficult for a woman to be completely honest and open when trust has been depleted, obliterated and destroyed. Knowing their past partner cheated beyond the realm of the meaning and understanding the facts to how many women there actually was and the type of women his male appendage had found its way in.
Intimacy is not to be shared with just anyone... but sex can be had with many. When there is no consciousness or a feeling attached, It just becomes an act... with the end explosion. There is no trust factor needed when you hit it and run or play the game to catch the high or the thrill of seeking who you can get something over on ... without them being fully aware they are just in it a for the game.
I no longer look at love like a feeling but an action to match words that have been spoken. Love is a verb. If there was an adjective to describe love it would be trust. Trust is a word that explains someone is going to be there no matter what, doing what they say, backing up every word spoke. A secure solid mass pertaining to...Whatever it is that they are sharing, it is not to be shared with anyone else. (under no circumstances)
A person who is a complete cheat has no sense of equivalence to the word trust therefore never understanding the meaning, the value, equating the association to intimacy. In regards to the cheat; No trust has ever been emotionally or mentally established in his life therefore never fully contemplating the actions involved with the words... I LOVE YOU! There is no attachment of any kind. They are just words said... to calm another's anxiety in the relationship, reaffirming a space in someones life and or pretending they feel something when it is crystal clear they don't know how to feel ... anything.
Deep conversations that are felt, an association with an endearment from a memory, moments created between two... the way a hand reaches out. The way a body brushes against another when kissing. The way feet entangle while watching a movie. The way someone is there when you need them the very most. Laughter shared over an inside joke. Numerous road trips discussing endless dreams. Trust is built and intimacy is formed.
For the woman whose trust has been obliterated, she will no longer allow an opportunity for intimacy. She finds no reason to build that type of formation becuase once where she gave all there is nothing left to give... because it was taken from her and boldly flaunted for others to see. After realizing the truth for what it was/is and reflects on the wasted energy and time spent giving to someone who only knew how to take. There is nothing left to share. she knows you can not pour from an empty vessel!
Intimacy and trust are one of the hardest things to regain after a relationship has ended that resulted in many illicit affairs. Words become just words and although nice and full of sentiment... she has already heard them all and all the promises exclaimed. Actions mean nothing either because at one time those too were promised. It becomes extremely easy for the woman to do what she needs to do never ever depending on hearing the words I love you again or ever finding the reason to trust.
Just as there are rules of engagement there are rules for becoming intimate... and for the woman whose hand now has been dealt by the cheat, careful because its a sad pathetic house made up with a jokers card! Pay attention to the actions that go behind the words... A pocket full of promises leaves you emptier than you can imagine.
Meet Me In St. Louis
Kitryn Marie
If you would like to learn more about healthy relationship goals and becoming apart of my women's mentoring group. Please visit https://kitryn-marie.weebly.com/inner-circle-coaching-group-for-women.html
It is extremely difficult for a woman to be completely honest and open when trust has been depleted, obliterated and destroyed. Knowing their past partner cheated beyond the realm of the meaning and understanding the facts to how many women there actually was and the type of women his male appendage had found its way in.
Intimacy is not to be shared with just anyone... but sex can be had with many. When there is no consciousness or a feeling attached, It just becomes an act... with the end explosion. There is no trust factor needed when you hit it and run or play the game to catch the high or the thrill of seeking who you can get something over on ... without them being fully aware they are just in it a for the game.
I no longer look at love like a feeling but an action to match words that have been spoken. Love is a verb. If there was an adjective to describe love it would be trust. Trust is a word that explains someone is going to be there no matter what, doing what they say, backing up every word spoke. A secure solid mass pertaining to...Whatever it is that they are sharing, it is not to be shared with anyone else. (under no circumstances)
A person who is a complete cheat has no sense of equivalence to the word trust therefore never understanding the meaning, the value, equating the association to intimacy. In regards to the cheat; No trust has ever been emotionally or mentally established in his life therefore never fully contemplating the actions involved with the words... I LOVE YOU! There is no attachment of any kind. They are just words said... to calm another's anxiety in the relationship, reaffirming a space in someones life and or pretending they feel something when it is crystal clear they don't know how to feel ... anything.
Deep conversations that are felt, an association with an endearment from a memory, moments created between two... the way a hand reaches out. The way a body brushes against another when kissing. The way feet entangle while watching a movie. The way someone is there when you need them the very most. Laughter shared over an inside joke. Numerous road trips discussing endless dreams. Trust is built and intimacy is formed.
For the woman whose trust has been obliterated, she will no longer allow an opportunity for intimacy. She finds no reason to build that type of formation becuase once where she gave all there is nothing left to give... because it was taken from her and boldly flaunted for others to see. After realizing the truth for what it was/is and reflects on the wasted energy and time spent giving to someone who only knew how to take. There is nothing left to share. she knows you can not pour from an empty vessel!
Intimacy and trust are one of the hardest things to regain after a relationship has ended that resulted in many illicit affairs. Words become just words and although nice and full of sentiment... she has already heard them all and all the promises exclaimed. Actions mean nothing either because at one time those too were promised. It becomes extremely easy for the woman to do what she needs to do never ever depending on hearing the words I love you again or ever finding the reason to trust.
Just as there are rules of engagement there are rules for becoming intimate... and for the woman whose hand now has been dealt by the cheat, careful because its a sad pathetic house made up with a jokers card! Pay attention to the actions that go behind the words... A pocket full of promises leaves you emptier than you can imagine.
"I got a brand new pair of roller skates... You got a brand new key"
"Don't attach your self to anything you can't walk away from"
Meet Me In St. Louis
Kitryn Marie
If you would like to learn more about healthy relationship goals and becoming apart of my women's mentoring group. Please visit https://kitryn-marie.weebly.com/inner-circle-coaching-group-for-women.html
