A New Door... Moving Through What No Longer Serves
Where does time go? How could I have stood still for this long and not realized the time that has gone by?
It's insane... What a waste... What a shame... What a crime!!! So many things taken from me... I look around and although outside appearances don't look any different, (other than being 32lbs thinner) really everything is completely different! My heart, oh my heart... it's been shattered and shaken and torn into tiny bits. I have barely stood in this space in which time has gone by! It's insane...
Loyalty has a way of standing still...when the one with NO conception of the meaning shatters life... the lies in which he built.
I will never forgive him... NEVER! And although I have moved on mentally and physically, emotionally I am still trying to piece together this life... my life! I look around... it's all different! And there is a new door!!!
See writing my life was never the plan but somehow it has been the catalyst in moving forward. I always had 2 books in mind to write and I had always dreamed of writing for a magazine but yet the dream went by the wayside because... time was spent in another direction and my life was put on hold for the sake of him. The him that I loved no matter what! because that is where MY LOYALTY was, where my heart remained but yet whatever I did, it was not enough...and he found every way to destroy it... all. Insane utterly insane!!!
Love what you do and don't bash what you hate... Hey!! Did you hear about the one ... that fine line between love and hate? Let me tell ya...
The apology that has never come nor will ever from him! The amount of women, he had behind my back... the night he was nowhere to be found when I needed to go the hospital or the other time, punching me in the head... his hand around my throat pushing me against a refrigerator... his temper, his anger... the things he destroyed in my house!!!!! The night he called screaming in distress because one of his fat chicks was destroying his house! (How ironic) That same chick that called me and threatened my life... No better than the beast he has now that had to send me a message!
Yeah, there is a fine line... 7 plus years... and his foot over a fence. Insane... fucking insane! but still needing to make contact... for what? It was him that needed... who knows what???
"You can't keep replacing (people) thinking that is the solution... when what you find is in that same place... that source that didn't work the first time!... Lessons in life are repeated until learned!!!"
Moving on and getting this house, my house in order... this temporary place of existence. I move a box. I move furniture... I have gotten rid of furniture!!!! I paint... I have painted... I am writing and people are taking notice. Moving on! Shutting a door, fucking nailing it shut ... there is no forgiveness and there is no looking back! Karma is my best friend!
The road I am building is the road in which I faithfully and happily am traveling and when he hears my name... I don't care what he thinks... he has to live with it all... for I am sure he has told enough lies to where I am the bad person. Who cares! Oh well... the truth has a way of always surfacing! Patterns repeat... abusive patterns always repeat!
Who knows maybe I'm inspiration. ( for someone) ... maybe my Pollyanna view of... it will be fine...EVERYTHING IS FINE! There is beauty in light! All light that is shed... just look thru the prisms! Perspective... all about perspective, moving out of the threshold... leaving behind what no longer serves!
The love, I served... shattered... but yet again coming together!!!
The bigger picture is ahead... my next venture... my next adventure... and what and or who I plan on attaching to. Shattered pieces always have a way to come back together ... stronger! Beauty does have its ashes and what was burned... rises higher and higher and comes back to life, in another form.
What doesn't serve anymore... leave it behind. Cross the threshold... become whole again! Build a new door... in the new form you have taken.
"It wasn't a play. I don't try out... He had beauty and he chose the beast!"
Meet Me In St. Louis,
Kitryn Marie
To learn more about creating your souls purpose, finding your core and attaching to the big picture as you move out of the threshold... find me on You Tube under Kitryn Marie. (I'm figuring it out as I go along... in a complete new direction! In my new form!)
It's insane... What a waste... What a shame... What a crime!!! So many things taken from me... I look around and although outside appearances don't look any different, (other than being 32lbs thinner) really everything is completely different! My heart, oh my heart... it's been shattered and shaken and torn into tiny bits. I have barely stood in this space in which time has gone by! It's insane...
Loyalty has a way of standing still...when the one with NO conception of the meaning shatters life... the lies in which he built.
I will never forgive him... NEVER! And although I have moved on mentally and physically, emotionally I am still trying to piece together this life... my life! I look around... it's all different! And there is a new door!!!
See writing my life was never the plan but somehow it has been the catalyst in moving forward. I always had 2 books in mind to write and I had always dreamed of writing for a magazine but yet the dream went by the wayside because... time was spent in another direction and my life was put on hold for the sake of him. The him that I loved no matter what! because that is where MY LOYALTY was, where my heart remained but yet whatever I did, it was not enough...and he found every way to destroy it... all. Insane utterly insane!!!
Love what you do and don't bash what you hate... Hey!! Did you hear about the one ... that fine line between love and hate? Let me tell ya...
The apology that has never come nor will ever from him! The amount of women, he had behind my back... the night he was nowhere to be found when I needed to go the hospital or the other time, punching me in the head... his hand around my throat pushing me against a refrigerator... his temper, his anger... the things he destroyed in my house!!!!! The night he called screaming in distress because one of his fat chicks was destroying his house! (How ironic) That same chick that called me and threatened my life... No better than the beast he has now that had to send me a message!
Yeah, there is a fine line... 7 plus years... and his foot over a fence. Insane... fucking insane! but still needing to make contact... for what? It was him that needed... who knows what???
"You can't keep replacing (people) thinking that is the solution... when what you find is in that same place... that source that didn't work the first time!... Lessons in life are repeated until learned!!!"
Moving on and getting this house, my house in order... this temporary place of existence. I move a box. I move furniture... I have gotten rid of furniture!!!! I paint... I have painted... I am writing and people are taking notice. Moving on! Shutting a door, fucking nailing it shut ... there is no forgiveness and there is no looking back! Karma is my best friend!
The road I am building is the road in which I faithfully and happily am traveling and when he hears my name... I don't care what he thinks... he has to live with it all... for I am sure he has told enough lies to where I am the bad person. Who cares! Oh well... the truth has a way of always surfacing! Patterns repeat... abusive patterns always repeat!
Who knows maybe I'm inspiration. ( for someone) ... maybe my Pollyanna view of... it will be fine...EVERYTHING IS FINE! There is beauty in light! All light that is shed... just look thru the prisms! Perspective... all about perspective, moving out of the threshold... leaving behind what no longer serves!
The love, I served... shattered... but yet again coming together!!!
The bigger picture is ahead... my next venture... my next adventure... and what and or who I plan on attaching to. Shattered pieces always have a way to come back together ... stronger! Beauty does have its ashes and what was burned... rises higher and higher and comes back to life, in another form.
What doesn't serve anymore... leave it behind. Cross the threshold... become whole again! Build a new door... in the new form you have taken.
"It wasn't a play. I don't try out... He had beauty and he chose the beast!"
Meet Me In St. Louis,
Kitryn Marie
To learn more about creating your souls purpose, finding your core and attaching to the big picture as you move out of the threshold... find me on You Tube under Kitryn Marie. (I'm figuring it out as I go along... in a complete new direction! In my new form!)
