The Path Of Least Is Better Than Nothing

 At the end of all your relationships, have you found yourself saying, "you never wanted what I wanted? you only wanted what would work best for you... for your benefit" "You had no intention of ever altering your lifestyle" (because that lifestyle is easily familiar and very unhealthy and it is what you have done for a lifetime so why change it up now?)

 It requires great change and effort to work towards big goals! It takes dedication and an independent modality to break away from the matrix, rewiring what you have been made to believe the American dream is: it leaves you sick, broken, and mentally distraught! We can add in family dysfunctions, abandonment, neglect issues, and narcissistic fathers, which have ensured a lifetime of alcohol abuse and addictions that are mimicked. So therefore a person can maintain their depressant, woe is me... it's someone else's fault behavior! Attractive right? Perfect attributes for gaining a happy life...and a loving partner. It's easy to gravitate to the lesser of; they have no expectation other than feed me, drink me...f,,k me and then let me sleep! 

In my almost 62 years, this scenario has gotten very old! As a life coach, this discussion is very prevalent with many that I speak with!

I want to touch base also on those individuals that have taken orders, directions, been followers, and have allowed someone else to call the shots, and make the decisions for which assignments they are to apply themselves to so they never have to make a self-righteous choice for themselves. When someone else is always telling a person which way to go... and or someone is always paving a path for them... that person never has to decipher a plan on their own. Adding the pressure that someone else is putting on them for these types of road maps is an overwhelming task that diminishes how the individual's brain works to form concrete cognitive thoughts and actions for themselves. It is a form of brainwashing. Do as I say! Don't think...just do what you are told!  Making that person co-dependent in all situations because they have been made to believe they can not function without these orders/assignments or a direction!

The simplest of examples is; a person saying, "where do you want to go for dinner?" and the other person saying, "I don't care you decide." and then that other comes unglued because they do not want to make a decision. (they do not want the responsibility of making a bad choice) Or making plans for a weekend outing, "so what are we doing?" and the other saying "why can't you come up with something?" Then its a downfall of... "look you just decide and we will go"

The next example would be the person who just keeps forking out money hoping the other will not want for anything else other than what they are being provided for. It takes no emotion or attachment to hand over dollars to get someone off their back or to appease what they can not physically do or be attendant too! My dad, god love his money-grabbing soul! After mom died when he could not be emotionally present and he was off traveling with whomever his new flame was at the time; he would buy my sister and me something, candy, records, concert tickets...flowers to try and make up for him not being present and attached. Money is a tricky entity that is used for leverage... it goes the same for absent fathers (or mothers) who can not, or refuse to take an active role in their child's life. It's a buying tactic for affection. "if I buy for you...just be happy with the material thing that holds no value but really just appreciate what I know how to do so I do not feel guilty for not being there or giving you what you really need!" There is no appeasing when money can not give, provide and or offer attention to matters associated with real connections needed for making lifelong plans.

I can not stress enough! I do not want my affections bought! I am not that kind of woman!  I never have been. I am not impressed by what money offers. (thanks dad! lol) I am impressed by the characteristics of what follow-through looks like when making plans. Although repeatedly I stress my love language is build me; its not about the construction necessarily of a house being built piece by piece from the ground up but from the ground up stability given with no false hope being offered over what I need in my life to create a happy home.

(quickly let me say, I bought my house and have struggled immensely to keep it. I have done everything in my power and with years failed financially to afford what my name is on. I am not a selfish woman but why would I offer a drawer or closet space to someone who is looking for easy? If a person truly would have wanted a "US" house with both of our names on it where he would have his own closet space and drawers of his own... he should have found a way to make that happen! There would have never been false promises made)

I have made no bones about wanting and needing to live on a farm-type homestead. I have not veered from that plan since 2011 after getting sick with the following years of being severely betrayed and abused. My peace of mind is what matters here! In 2013 when being told, I have a chronic illness and they, the Drs did not know in which way it was gonna go... you be told something is life-threatening and let's see how you all of a sudden say NO MORE! and make clear choices on a direction in which you plan to live out your life!?

Before I end this issue, I want to tell this stupid story, years back, the person I was involved, with one day; he was so hung over from the night before.  Actually, he was no show to a night we had planned. I showed no sympathy. NONE! He tried every which way to play poor poor pitiful me. Even to the point he just asked, "don't you feel sorry for me in the least bit?" I looked at him and said "No not at all. You made your choice so suffer." I grabbed his truck keys because I needed to use it and started to leave. He yelled, " why can't you be like other women and let me buy you something so you will get over this?" {because I can not be bought}

The path of least is not better than nothing. If a person knows they are not capable, have no intentions or are not willing to alter their lifestyle then they should not string anyone along hoping that if they buy, provide, hold trickets over their head, feed them, drink them...f..k them that they (the other person) will just give up on the notion regarding all the plans that were discussed and preplanned for a better life outside of the matrix.

Here tho is the reason why people offer false hope:

False hope;

1. They want to avoid hurting someone's feelings: Sometimes people believe that it's better to offer false hope than to be honest and risk hurting someone's feelings. They may think that by offering false hope, they are being kind or compassionate, even though it may ultimately be more painful in the long run.

This right here *****2. They want to avoid conflict: Similarly, some people might offer false hope to avoid conflict or confrontation. They may worry that if they tell the truth, the other person will react badly, and it will lead to an argument or a difficult conversation.

3. They want to feel better themselves: In some cases, people may offer false hope because it makes them feel better. They may feel guilty about a situation or want to avoid taking responsibility for something, and offering false hope allows them to avoid those negative feelings.

4. They genuinely believe in the possibility of a positive outcome: Sometimes people offer false hope because they genuinely believe that there is a chance of a positive outcome, even if it's small. They may feel that offering hope is better than offering no hope at all, even if the odds are not in their favor.

It's important to remember that offering false hope can be harmful, even if it's well-intentioned. It's generally better to be honest and transparent, even if it's difficult in the moment.

Be Happy Be Blessed

Kitryn Marie