Shhh...Please

 Its Monday! It's cold! It's some mess between is it gonna snow AGAIN or is this bs rain gonna happen? It's Monday and the kinda tired I feel is indescribable. I have absolutely no energy in this type of weather. It took every bit of effort to pull myself out of bed this morning but with my solo dog...her whimpers that are getting more vocal by the day, screeching for me to let her out! Reluctantly moving a cat or 2, I fumbled to her crate. Its Monday! I am cold! Thank god there is no one here to talk with me. Shhh, please! Eeh eeh eeh... quiet!

My morning routine has not veered in over a year. Let the dog out minus Bruce (the dog that just passed) manage cats, feed them, make coffee, read emails, check bank balances, check stats on social media, and then scroll tik tok while drinking my coffee in silence! The Little dog gets in her spot, I lay in mine with the heating pad, and the 2 of us zone until she says, "feed me" that long arm paw reaches up to let me know... it's her turn. Its kinda cute the way she converses! Now that Bruce isn't with us, it's very quiet and it's funny to see her personality so different. She is mostly a quiet dog until she is not! 

I can not remember the last time I had anything of any significance on TV. TV is distracting. I do not find it entertaining and I can not for the life of me, can figure out why people as soon as they get home turn it on. What is so wrong with the quiet? Why can't people live in the quiet and allow their thoughts to soothe them? What is wrong with their thoughts that they need that type of distraction... someone? anyone? Ferris? Buehler?? Buehler? BEUHLER?

Outside of my creative arts business (which I am intently working on STILL!!!) I work an outside gig in an industry that is so noisy, I have learned to drown out the 19 TVs, the surround sound radio station, and the multi conversations that are being spoken simultaneously. It gets to a point that people try to out-talk the other in a decibel thinking they can drown out the 19 TVs and the surround radio! Ridiculous! Preposterous! Ear muffs... please ear muffs! This nonsense is not entertaining! It's annoying! I should have gone into the library industry... intellects that also prefer the quiet!

I was never a 3 stooges fan. I never found that entertaining or funny... anyway, there is one episode that truly stands out. Moe was in a psyche ward/hospital and his nerves were frazzled. His 2 brothers tried their best in the most outrageous way to keep him calm and quiet and everything they did only made matters worse. All Moe could say is, "I just need the quiet" I wish more people could respect those words! I wish more people could understand what trauma does to a person and why they need silence to regulate a nervous system. 

While some people use TV as an escape from reality, unwinding to destress from the day, it is a coping mechanism to detach from responsibilities. It can provide a familiar comfort and relieve anxiety but for some the commotion, storyline and noise contribute to anxiety. Keeping someone who is already emotionally distressed by noise very uncomfortable by the distraction. It does not balance out a dysregulated nervous system so therefore it adds problems amongst those that find TV watching a bonding connection.

As a kid, I may have watched TV here and there but I was not addicted to it like my family members. I had other things to do to stay busy but I might add; I came from a very noisy household, TVs were always on, radio or some form of music always played and the commotion of everyone in that household speaking at a decibel to over talk the person that was already speaking very loudly! "I just needed the quiet!" I always have!

 I moved out as soon as I could, at the age of 18 to go live with my dad, where it was quiet! Other than Sat morning waking up to his music or him playing the trumpet or an occasional football game on Sunday, where he screamed at the TV...  rarely was the TV on!

So as I sit here in the quiet, contemplating my day off in the cold and rainy weather, I will gather my thoughts because I am comfortable with my thoughts! I need no distraction from my thoughts or my day-to-day life! I do not need to avoid any responsibilities or have the need to find something to cope with in my life Because my life and home is calm and quiet! Besides even if I talk to myself I find myself to be rather entertaining! More entertaining than any TV program could be!

Be Happy Be Blessed!

Kitryn Marie







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