You Fight To Hang On and You fight To Let Go

It is what I like about Sundays... Reflections.

As I sat in mass yesterday, watching friends say good bye prayers for their sister(mother) I was reminded, nothing in this life is forever. Sickness and in health... til death do us part. It's the life of one and all the measurable moments that take place in someone's journey. It is the steps you walk that one way or another is fought with every emotional breath.

I found as I listened to words "what separates us from Christ"  love or ego... I recalled all the many things we do in this life to try and find one ounce of happiness as we walk this earth. The many things/choices we make out of obligation, fear, anger, revenge... love, pride, guilt. The games that we play to hang on to something... The bargaining prayers we make to stay alive, be healthy and to stay in relationships.( and to keep our kids safe) So many things end abruptly with not enough time to finish. So many words are left hanging...

**I did not know this person but she was loved... I am sure she was welcomed with open arms into that eternal resting peace in Gods kingdom.**

We fight to hang on and we fight to let go

As I sat in that space of prayer, I found myself praying for everyone else but myself... Praying for all things to fall into place. Although in that quiet like moment, a message shouting in my ear from above, "What kind of crazy hangs on to which is not ours any longer? It is the bad relationships we hang on to because we are trying to prove points and obscure reckless emotional behavior takes on a new persona. It creates off-side boundaries... where no one plays fair and we don't care who gets hurt in the process. Damage is done and hearts are broken. What you once knew no longer applies... and you now know that saying goodbye will be final.

I sat and thought how does this change? What does a person have to do to look at the situation for what it has become and make it come to the finalization... it's done... it's over. It has died! Let go and be buried... What else has to take place? ...You have grieved enough ... It's time to go forward and let them find their own peace for any detrimental heartache they know they caused. It now will become their haunt...

We fight to hang on and we fight to let go

There will always be that memory. There will always be that person that lives in your heart that you gave and gave and gave... The grief that has drained your ever self. The heart that is so empty and starved... it's a death like you have never experienced and you just scream to live again. To feel , to be touched, to be loved... to be wanted.

Death is more than just the physical body dying... It too is the relationships that stay stagnant for so long for fear of what's left?... You know what you had. You know how that works but what do you go on to next? It's those that come together with sad hearts... knowing maybe something else could have been done. Knowing they shouldn't have acted that way. Knowing they gave years and years and years of trying to make something work that just never was.... Wrong reasons  ... for who knows why?

We fight to hang on and we fight to let go

Death comes to us all... in all forms. I think about my own mortality and this chronic health issue I have. I want to make every moment left in this life count. I have seen too many things die with no hope of a life left. I have watched too many people grieve for a lifetime... being in the wrong situation just because... having the love of their life and then just giving up.

I will not give up... and there is a new beginning.  Grief is a place you visit... and it is not meant to dwell in while walking in this life. 

Too many people on their death beds have regrets... I will not!  Sickness and in health... til death do us part. It's the life of one and all the measurable moments that take place in someone's journey. It is the steps you walk that one way or another is fought with every emotional breath.


We fight to hang on and we fight to let go
                       

Into the hands of the Lord, For new life is given for those that believe in the kingdom of glory!

Meet Me In St. Louis,
Kitryn Marie









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