I Built It
Maybe if I sit here long enough and stare at this blank page, 2.5 years of some form of emotion will blurt out something meaningful. Right? Isn't that how it works? You stuff every emotion or feeling so life doesn't smack you hard in the face, and then you're faced with redness that no one understands but you! Right? Isn't this how it goes?
Where is the logic in any of it? Human nature and the many complexities of human facets, widgets, gadgets, and emotion! All gears of some mechanism that compound human design. I used to be here for it. Now I question it all. And I question motives, time, and design, and really, what did any of it mean? Other than to take up space and disrupt someone's life. Cmon like, really, why?
Melancholy, I find myself, right now, very melancholy. It's the change of weather. It's limerence. It's anger. It's disappointment. It's delusion. It's defeat! Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . I'll say it once. I'll say it 540 times. I should be in Tennessee right now! There is a mountain with my name on it, with a beach on the other side, a 6-hour ride with more conversations that needed to be had about what's left in this life. What's the plan? Where are we going and how are we doing it?
Look, Waldo, even one who is lost in a crowd where they don't belong can be spotted a mile away, but when personal alignment is your body armor and the gear no longer fits... man, do you ever stand out! Discomfort forms all your words, your body stance shifts, and you've squeezed yourself into something that you've outgrown. Anger erupts from not accepting the restraint you're trying to wear.
Nonetheless, here I sit; what's next, and who would have thought? And seriously, what kind of person does that? Let me put my life coaching hat on. How bad does one person feel about their own life that coming to terms with health, growth, and mortality was going to be the obstacle? Stages, progress, and moving forward, shifting into the years of til the end. Definition of insanity: "keep doing the same thing, thinking you will get a different outcome"
Yeah, this is why I haven't written. It's been easier to talk to myself as I have maneuvered through some very odd events in my life. 2 jobs later, the loss of my horse, 1 new dog, a newer car that's had more than its share of issues, a leaky roof that osmosis is not going to take care of, and a garden the Amish would be proud of! Every potato I pulled up, every tomato off the vine, every eggplant on the branch, and now a cantaloupe I'm cutting from the ground, I think, how am I still doing this? Managing on fumes, desire, intuition, and determination that there STILL has to be more. It's hard to keep believing in something that isn't presenting itself in the form I keep trying to create. Funny how I haven't mentioned finances... let me put my business coaching hat on. Leave all money out of the equation! If it's not from the heart and if you truly can not envision the life you need to build for yourself, then it's not yours to begin with. It's not just how you see it, but can you really choose not to have it?
I recently took on a front desk job. Eh, meh, it's doable if it has some meaning. I know me. I won't stay. 25 resumes out, 10 interviews had, and I was offered something as a second choice because their first choice didn't work out. Pay is crap, and it fills up 15 hrs of my time. 15 hrs that, at one time, I earned 200.00 per 5 hrs. Those days are over... along with the toxicity that came with it. For 32 years, it worked until it didn't. Hospitality is hospitality... the product and the service just change; you take the abilities learned, and you somehow apply them elsewhere. There is growth and progress somewhere in that process.
My website has been redone. I added a new service to my own business. My brand is Kitryn Marie. http://kitryn-marie.weebly.com I also have added a print-on-demand feature. kitryn-marie.printify.me. It's a small collection of my art designs and photography that branch under the umbrella of KM Designs. I'm also creating a line of quilted kitchen wares that I will upload to an e-commerce storefront. The goal remains the same. "Build the empire." The ecosystem is built.
KITRYN MARIE — the person, brand & professional services
- Social Media Marketing + Content
- Social presence
- Content creation
- Community engagement
- Content planning
- Email/retention
- Business storytelling
- Photography + Visual Content
- Writing + Copywriting
- Art + Painting
- Classes & Creative Instruction
- Acrylic painting
- Writing a book
- Vision boards
- Workshops/classes
- Coaching / Creative Development
- Creative Consulting
- Event + Guest Experience insight
🎨 KM DESIGNS — the product/creative arm
This is where your physical creative business lives:
- Handmade sewn goods
- Farmstand-style handcrafted products
- Art/paintings
- Merchandise
- Printify products
- Photography canvases
- Future functional/fashion accessories
- Books and creative projects
When He Had Her is a gripping psychological drama that peels back the mask of charm to expose the calculated destruction left in the wake of a narcissist’s need for control. Told with chilling precision and raw emotional truth, the story centers on Hank Daniels — a self-made con artist obsessed with image, money, and power — and Kate, a seasoned investigative journalist who once loved him, now determined to expose the truth he’s worked so hard to bury.
As Kate digs deeper, piecing together the trail of deception, manipulation, and financial fraud, Hank spirals into paranoia, desperate to stay one step ahead of a storm he can no longer control. With the tension of a slow-burning thriller and the emotional weight of a survivor reclaiming her voice, When He Had Her explores the dark dance between predator and prey — and what happens when the prey learns how to fight back.
This is not just a story of betrayal — it’s about justice, consequence, and the scars left by emotional abuse that never truly fade. For fans of layered character studies, morally grey villains, and strong female leads who fight smart, When He Had Her delivers a haunting, unforgettable ride.
