Its Not About Being Right
Sarcasm has become my new tone. It is not about being right but about pointing out some chilling facts with a hint of snark removing all fluff for the sake of protecting sanctity. We are weeks into a fear tactic lockdown and in my professional opinion no different than that relationship some have been coerced into believing. "It is for your own good, I am protecting you... you are just better off this way." Blindsiding and removing your ability to be a critical thinker for yourself!
Hows the handler job going? Ya know that position that promised you a better life ... "if you could just come here, listen to my view, fall my lies and please try and keep up with my antics! No, you stay put while I go and try to find some way to escape what I created because this is not what I signed on for!" Big talk'n narcissism to bide time while aggravation, anxiety and gaslighting are building up so they can come up with a plan to bail... and once again become the hero! {Their mentality; Shwww dodged that bullet and look how well I came out of that situation!}
No, I am not talking politics but I am rather amused at the players in this political monopoly game! We all have taken a token and have participated in the biggest social guinea pig experiment of our lives... we all passed go and collected 1200.00 (you are welcome) and we did it willingly! (Fear tactics and strategic mental warfare)
Too many times in various situations in our life we give up our ability to think for ourselves. We are too busy trying to find a way in someone's life because they promised a better way. The twist and turn game... I'll offer, I'll tell you, I'll make you believe... then gradually without a hint of what is happening... things get retracted, steps get erased, words are misconstrued, money is not accounted for and the party becomes absent... all the while you are holding the bag thinking you are the one keeping the relationship together... "why if it wasn't for me... there would be no us" So as you are jumping through emotional hoops trying to make sense of what just happened... your mind can not wrap around the occurrence because you have been made to believe you imagined it,,,"No that's not what happened! No that's not what I said! No,,, its someones else's fault! You totally misunderstood... YOU ARE CRAZY! YOU'RE MAKING THINGS UP... " (See it yet?)
So what is happening? Care to venture down that rabbit hole? Emotional avoidance and the ability to not attach is what is happening! There has not been an emotional connection because the person does not know how to bond ... but knows like second skin how to create a co-dependent situation so the person does not have to be alone, take accountability for financial mishaps, misgivings, and shortcomings; He puts the person in a place and a spot (shared by many because the words and life are so convincing) so they do not have to take full responsibility for inept behavior. Its all fine and good if you're holding his hand sitting barside/club side... poolside for all that matters,,, because he needs to show everyone around him... "hey look what is clinging to my fake belief system" He will use false-etto expressions in front of everyone... with a kiss here and there and some dig, pretending he is kidding; when in actuality he is breaking down your confidence. Then when you are not around he will dig and put you down, tell everyone you're crazy or make up some other notion to serve his agenda well. His aggravating lie will get the best to him because he has to keep up with a pretense... he will feel trapped, anxiety will set in... he will get angry...bait you into a fight because his frustration level can not be controlled and rage will take center stage... why you become unglued and unhinged all the while he is blaming you for your behavior NEVER UNDERSTANDING you are reacting to his ABUSE! Then when the dust settles down ( or you threaten to leave)... he will try and make it up to you! He will LOVE BOMB YOU and promise the empty all over again!
Right now with all of us in lockdown, we are having to see the shadow side of our lives and where we have spent and wasted years of our lives and money unnecessarily spent with people and on things that do not add up! We also are stretching our mind banks and reliving quite a few relationships trying to come to terms with why it didn't work. Its not a blame game but a reexamination of self and the god awful toxic behavior that causes destruction.
I have myself reexamined the last three years of my life and although there was great love... it was just too late. What I thought I may have wanted at one time, I had been too changed by the previous catastrophic emotional abusive relationship. The contrast of the one withholding everything from me and not allowing me to be who I needed to be to the next person that wanted to give me the world...and do it all for me! My frustration was needing to do it myself, When all I wanted to do was to be myself, do my thing, make some money, have adventures, explore opportunities, love freely with no expectations and not be pigeon-holed down by some societal job; STUCK IN ONE PLACE. I have spent a lifetime of surviving just fine... raising a family and keeping a home on my terms WHILE BEING A FREE INDEPENDENT THINKER!
As I said to a long time friend yesterday, the way I have balanced life it does not work for everyone. It is a stretch at times. I work! My methods of how I work is just very unethical and the constraints due to lack of; over the last 12 years have been because of an ever-changing world that makes people believe in an outdated system. That system has wanted the majority to become dependent! I do not conform. I have ideas of my own. I know what works best in my life... I'm all for equality within an establishment but do not force me to live in situations not conducive to an ENTREPRUNEIRS DREAM; Whose belief was to build something from nothing and on her own!!!
It has not been my position to be anyone's handler, guiding or giving direction for what is needed and how the other person has deemed what love should look like for their life when their position has been based on a selfish motive. I have learned through a thwarted virtue, Selfishness is out of protection... the fear of doing without or going without and the measures taken to (protect heart) sometimes behavior not even recognized because the patterns are relived over and over and over. Outdated behavior mimicked by years of a generational curse. {and just not knowing anything different than what they know}
As my friend yesterday said while speaking in a lengthy phone conversation, " I have seen you with 2 nickels and somehow you end up with 3" he continued, "I don't know how you do it... but you have that magic touch." My response, "It is not magic...it is heart logic and a sound mind. Years of trial and error! And a stubbornness to succeed on my terms!"
I have an interview this week to be on a podcast for a CREATIVE THINKERS show and while we are on this great PAUSE in life, I am holding on to my vision. I am not buying into this fear-based pandemic. I am not believing the panic tactics that are being shoved down our throats. I refuse to believe anything from what the media says because their agenda is political motivated by $$$$ that are driven for campaign views! {someone owns that network and is being bought} Maybe I'm not scared or fearful because parts of me have already died. I have already shed the skin that was removed by a false-scenario.
My vision holds love but for a different kind. It is not important for me to have someone at my side unless the value of the person holds more importance, shares my same view and is worth more than the time I deem necessary for my peaceful space. My vision holds travel and the ability to share the moments through my camera's perspective then being able to eloquently write about it!. I miss the beach and I hold the sound of those waves in my mind every morning while drinking coffee. My vision holds activity... lots of physical activity training horses and having a facility of my own to board for others. My vision holds the ability to mentor and speak on how love is supposed to feel and how it should freely give a person the opportunity to flourish without the other person expecting their share. I hold the visions to teach... on a variety of topics that allow human growth for the greater cause creating great health... Creative endeavors build healthy immunities! My vision holds opportunity and the abundance to create an income off of...
What is important right now is to be a critical thinker for yourself and how you will approach life after this BS quarantine is finished. Ask the questions! Rock the boat! Those that are uncomfortable with what is being asked will have to then ask themselves why they are so damn uncomfortable? Your shadow self has been exposed so now it's up to you to face yourself!
Yes, Sarcasm has become my new tone. It is not about being right but about pointing out some chilling facts with a hint of snark removing all fluff for the sake of protecting sanctity.
For all: I wish you enough! I wish you the karma you deserve! I wish you the time afforded to seek your resolve in all matters you created!
I will always be grateful and so very appreciative of my time and the experience of learning so much while traveling... A person is not meant to just work and pay bills. You are meant to hold the vision for your life that aligns with your mission for a higher purpose. Seeking opportunities that work best for the better version of yourself!
Be Happy Be Blessed!
Kitryn Marie
If you would be interested in any of my coaching classes life or business please reach out kitrynmarie@gmail.com and visit https://kitryn-marie.weebly.com Online classes are available 55.00 for 1 hr. or 90.00 for 2
Hows the handler job going? Ya know that position that promised you a better life ... "if you could just come here, listen to my view, fall my lies and please try and keep up with my antics! No, you stay put while I go and try to find some way to escape what I created because this is not what I signed on for!" Big talk'n narcissism to bide time while aggravation, anxiety and gaslighting are building up so they can come up with a plan to bail... and once again become the hero! {Their mentality; Shwww dodged that bullet and look how well I came out of that situation!}
No, I am not talking politics but I am rather amused at the players in this political monopoly game! We all have taken a token and have participated in the biggest social guinea pig experiment of our lives... we all passed go and collected 1200.00 (you are welcome) and we did it willingly! (Fear tactics and strategic mental warfare)
Too many times in various situations in our life we give up our ability to think for ourselves. We are too busy trying to find a way in someone's life because they promised a better way. The twist and turn game... I'll offer, I'll tell you, I'll make you believe... then gradually without a hint of what is happening... things get retracted, steps get erased, words are misconstrued, money is not accounted for and the party becomes absent... all the while you are holding the bag thinking you are the one keeping the relationship together... "why if it wasn't for me... there would be no us" So as you are jumping through emotional hoops trying to make sense of what just happened... your mind can not wrap around the occurrence because you have been made to believe you imagined it,,,"No that's not what happened! No that's not what I said! No,,, its someones else's fault! You totally misunderstood... YOU ARE CRAZY! YOU'RE MAKING THINGS UP... " (See it yet?)
So what is happening? Care to venture down that rabbit hole? Emotional avoidance and the ability to not attach is what is happening! There has not been an emotional connection because the person does not know how to bond ... but knows like second skin how to create a co-dependent situation so the person does not have to be alone, take accountability for financial mishaps, misgivings, and shortcomings; He puts the person in a place and a spot (shared by many because the words and life are so convincing) so they do not have to take full responsibility for inept behavior. Its all fine and good if you're holding his hand sitting barside/club side... poolside for all that matters,,, because he needs to show everyone around him... "hey look what is clinging to my fake belief system" He will use false-etto expressions in front of everyone... with a kiss here and there and some dig, pretending he is kidding; when in actuality he is breaking down your confidence. Then when you are not around he will dig and put you down, tell everyone you're crazy or make up some other notion to serve his agenda well. His aggravating lie will get the best to him because he has to keep up with a pretense... he will feel trapped, anxiety will set in... he will get angry...bait you into a fight because his frustration level can not be controlled and rage will take center stage... why you become unglued and unhinged all the while he is blaming you for your behavior NEVER UNDERSTANDING you are reacting to his ABUSE! Then when the dust settles down ( or you threaten to leave)... he will try and make it up to you! He will LOVE BOMB YOU and promise the empty all over again!
***************************************
Right now with all of us in lockdown, we are having to see the shadow side of our lives and where we have spent and wasted years of our lives and money unnecessarily spent with people and on things that do not add up! We also are stretching our mind banks and reliving quite a few relationships trying to come to terms with why it didn't work. Its not a blame game but a reexamination of self and the god awful toxic behavior that causes destruction.
I have myself reexamined the last three years of my life and although there was great love... it was just too late. What I thought I may have wanted at one time, I had been too changed by the previous catastrophic emotional abusive relationship. The contrast of the one withholding everything from me and not allowing me to be who I needed to be to the next person that wanted to give me the world...and do it all for me! My frustration was needing to do it myself, When all I wanted to do was to be myself, do my thing, make some money, have adventures, explore opportunities, love freely with no expectations and not be pigeon-holed down by some societal job; STUCK IN ONE PLACE. I have spent a lifetime of surviving just fine... raising a family and keeping a home on my terms WHILE BEING A FREE INDEPENDENT THINKER!
As I said to a long time friend yesterday, the way I have balanced life it does not work for everyone. It is a stretch at times. I work! My methods of how I work is just very unethical and the constraints due to lack of; over the last 12 years have been because of an ever-changing world that makes people believe in an outdated system. That system has wanted the majority to become dependent! I do not conform. I have ideas of my own. I know what works best in my life... I'm all for equality within an establishment but do not force me to live in situations not conducive to an ENTREPRUNEIRS DREAM; Whose belief was to build something from nothing and on her own!!!
It has not been my position to be anyone's handler, guiding or giving direction for what is needed and how the other person has deemed what love should look like for their life when their position has been based on a selfish motive. I have learned through a thwarted virtue, Selfishness is out of protection... the fear of doing without or going without and the measures taken to (protect heart) sometimes behavior not even recognized because the patterns are relived over and over and over. Outdated behavior mimicked by years of a generational curse. {and just not knowing anything different than what they know}
As my friend yesterday said while speaking in a lengthy phone conversation, " I have seen you with 2 nickels and somehow you end up with 3" he continued, "I don't know how you do it... but you have that magic touch." My response, "It is not magic...it is heart logic and a sound mind. Years of trial and error! And a stubbornness to succeed on my terms!"
I have an interview this week to be on a podcast for a CREATIVE THINKERS show and while we are on this great PAUSE in life, I am holding on to my vision. I am not buying into this fear-based pandemic. I am not believing the panic tactics that are being shoved down our throats. I refuse to believe anything from what the media says because their agenda is political motivated by $$$$ that are driven for campaign views! {someone owns that network and is being bought} Maybe I'm not scared or fearful because parts of me have already died. I have already shed the skin that was removed by a false-scenario.
My vision holds love but for a different kind. It is not important for me to have someone at my side unless the value of the person holds more importance, shares my same view and is worth more than the time I deem necessary for my peaceful space. My vision holds travel and the ability to share the moments through my camera's perspective then being able to eloquently write about it!. I miss the beach and I hold the sound of those waves in my mind every morning while drinking coffee. My vision holds activity... lots of physical activity training horses and having a facility of my own to board for others. My vision holds the ability to mentor and speak on how love is supposed to feel and how it should freely give a person the opportunity to flourish without the other person expecting their share. I hold the visions to teach... on a variety of topics that allow human growth for the greater cause creating great health... Creative endeavors build healthy immunities! My vision holds opportunity and the abundance to create an income off of...
What is important right now is to be a critical thinker for yourself and how you will approach life after this BS quarantine is finished. Ask the questions! Rock the boat! Those that are uncomfortable with what is being asked will have to then ask themselves why they are so damn uncomfortable? Your shadow self has been exposed so now it's up to you to face yourself!
Yes, Sarcasm has become my new tone. It is not about being right but about pointing out some chilling facts with a hint of snark removing all fluff for the sake of protecting sanctity.
For all: I wish you enough! I wish you the karma you deserve! I wish you the time afforded to seek your resolve in all matters you created!
I will always be grateful and so very appreciative of my time and the experience of learning so much while traveling... A person is not meant to just work and pay bills. You are meant to hold the vision for your life that aligns with your mission for a higher purpose. Seeking opportunities that work best for the better version of yourself!
Be Happy Be Blessed!
Kitryn Marie
If you would be interested in any of my coaching classes life or business please reach out kitrynmarie@gmail.com and visit https://kitryn-marie.weebly.com Online classes are available 55.00 for 1 hr. or 90.00 for 2
