What Doesn't Kill You
What does not kill you makes you stronger... but in the process, parts of you die. That statement alone applies to so many factors! Including crossing that bridge in Charleston SC (to learn more about that you need to go to my YouTube Channel and give a listen "Fear"!)
I am back from our 8-day trip! It was once again eye-opening and heart wrenching of another kind. Blissful and healing of all ways. Reflections and purposeful mind keeping moments as I walked the beach. I tried to recall every detail from the last 15 years and I etched all the moments recounting the last 5! I tattooed on the inside of my eyelids these current years. ( so when I close my eyes, I vividly can see) Lots of miles, Lots of heartache, lots of joy and lots of "ah ha" revelation awakenings. A person can never move forward without understanding where they have been.
A person with a real conscious can not erase what has happened in their life and turn blind eyes because they choose to no longer deal with certain occurrences. (For that person I say, Be very careful ...because, for that reason alone, Karma will gladly come up from behind and slap you to remind you of what you are trying to forget. ) Until you know "why you came from that situation" a person will never heal from that life. If you don't recognize what transpired, what you had, how things were and how life in itself took it away!
As easy as the sand beneath my feet faded and the waves upon the ocean crashed... I could finally be at peace. It was a wonderful 8 days of adventures and long roads... moments of silence. Moments of planning... moments of just being.
Coming home is always the shocker getting back into a grind and having to resort to a mindset of another variety. Change whether it be short term or for the rest of your life... is never easy. The mind wants to replay what the heart dictates. Period!
Upon returning to my side gig, I was happily greeted by co-workers. The niceties of "how was the trip? what was the highlight and how did you's get along?" I laughed and answered with pleasantries... I gave a short rendition and gave no highlight to my bridge dilemma, and without pause claimed, " We got along fine. We mostly if not usually always do." My co-hart looked at me and said, "how does that work?" and she went on to ask a few more detailed questions... which I was more than readily able to answer.
My co-worker had lost her husband a few years back to cancer. She like a few others have asked over the years, "how do you move on? What's the trick? How do you switch gears?" My answer is always the same, you don't. You just navigate differently comparing every milestone, crossword or intimate detail. You take into account grief is different for all no matter the loss and how a person recovers is by slowly gaining strength from what did not kill you. This new version of scars forms you into a completely different version of yourself. Any long term amount of time you spent with someone takes doubly if not triply as long to undo. The plans made, kids, trips, arguments, intimacy, combined friends, etc... it is all still there. Those moments all happened and just because that person is no longer in "that place" that does not mean it is not all still there. In time the pain and hurt lessen and you learn to function without that person but the facts and that life are still there. Moving on with someone new... takes time, alone with oneself reconfiguring who you are without that other person. People who slide people into roles are doing just that...ROLE-PLAYING. They are just filling a spot pretending all is going to be hunky-dory and life can resume as normal. (Just do it my way. The same way I've been doing things this amount of years with someone else)
Trust is the biggest factor. You have opened up your life to someone and now starting over {especially at an older age} there is heavy baggage and always holes in someone else's story. You have to play detective and intricately plan out words and questions to make sure you are getting the same story. You raised kids and now taking in affect someone else's or even grandkids...(truth, no one can love your own kids like you do and some will not even accept someone else's if already some wedge or a dividing factor has been in place) A once opened heart now guarded. Also, people have taken on some really bad habits (rigid in behavior not willing to compromise) poor health due to neglect and or alcoholism to defeat the blues... or boredom. Often time its compromising and settling for less because they knew what they had... and its never the same! Often compared to trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
Let's talk about the friendship factor! As I said to my co-worker lets face it sex changes. When that's all gone what's left? You better hope you really like that other person! The desires are still there but it varies with big degrees of physical health and shape. Biological factors play such a big role and as the need for sex changes for women, the drive for a man stays the same. * Read the "Viagra Diaries" by Barbara Brooker!!!! That book sums it up nicely! After being with someone for so long you know what works, what doesn't and all those gears worked in some timely manner although the things you have had in common are gone and now meeting someone else and "getting involved" is like going on a job interview. EXHAUSTING!
***A segment in my book: Hank says, " She may not be perfect but she is perfect for me." Beau replied with a deer in the headlight look and screamed, " What?? is she a drunk too? Did she compulsively cheat on her partner also? Did she also neglect her kid? Oh, wait that's right the judge gave her custody away! Right? What?? is she known for physically and emotionally beating up her significant other? Did she steal money and let someone else take the fall? Did she too use people to get what she wanted because it's just easier to destroy the people you claim to love?" He stood there saying nothing... a mirror image is what he had found himself with his latest. Alike had attracted alike. Wanting to throw his beer bottle at her... she stood there staking her ground and she was not backing down.
I am back from our 8-day trip! It was once again eye-opening and heart wrenching of another kind. Blissful and healing of all ways. Reflections and purposeful mind keeping moments as I walked the beach. I tried to recall every detail from the last 15 years and I etched all the moments recounting the last 5! I tattooed on the inside of my eyelids these current years. ( so when I close my eyes, I vividly can see) Lots of miles, Lots of heartache, lots of joy and lots of "ah ha" revelation awakenings. A person can never move forward without understanding where they have been.
A person with a real conscious can not erase what has happened in their life and turn blind eyes because they choose to no longer deal with certain occurrences. (For that person I say, Be very careful ...because, for that reason alone, Karma will gladly come up from behind and slap you to remind you of what you are trying to forget. ) Until you know "why you came from that situation" a person will never heal from that life. If you don't recognize what transpired, what you had, how things were and how life in itself took it away!
As easy as the sand beneath my feet faded and the waves upon the ocean crashed... I could finally be at peace. It was a wonderful 8 days of adventures and long roads... moments of silence. Moments of planning... moments of just being.
Coming home is always the shocker getting back into a grind and having to resort to a mindset of another variety. Change whether it be short term or for the rest of your life... is never easy. The mind wants to replay what the heart dictates. Period!
Upon returning to my side gig, I was happily greeted by co-workers. The niceties of "how was the trip? what was the highlight and how did you's get along?" I laughed and answered with pleasantries... I gave a short rendition and gave no highlight to my bridge dilemma, and without pause claimed, " We got along fine. We mostly if not usually always do." My co-hart looked at me and said, "how does that work?" and she went on to ask a few more detailed questions... which I was more than readily able to answer.
My co-worker had lost her husband a few years back to cancer. She like a few others have asked over the years, "how do you move on? What's the trick? How do you switch gears?" My answer is always the same, you don't. You just navigate differently comparing every milestone, crossword or intimate detail. You take into account grief is different for all no matter the loss and how a person recovers is by slowly gaining strength from what did not kill you. This new version of scars forms you into a completely different version of yourself. Any long term amount of time you spent with someone takes doubly if not triply as long to undo. The plans made, kids, trips, arguments, intimacy, combined friends, etc... it is all still there. Those moments all happened and just because that person is no longer in "that place" that does not mean it is not all still there. In time the pain and hurt lessen and you learn to function without that person but the facts and that life are still there. Moving on with someone new... takes time, alone with oneself reconfiguring who you are without that other person. People who slide people into roles are doing just that...ROLE-PLAYING. They are just filling a spot pretending all is going to be hunky-dory and life can resume as normal. (Just do it my way. The same way I've been doing things this amount of years with someone else)
Trust is the biggest factor. You have opened up your life to someone and now starting over {especially at an older age} there is heavy baggage and always holes in someone else's story. You have to play detective and intricately plan out words and questions to make sure you are getting the same story. You raised kids and now taking in affect someone else's or even grandkids...(truth, no one can love your own kids like you do and some will not even accept someone else's if already some wedge or a dividing factor has been in place) A once opened heart now guarded. Also, people have taken on some really bad habits (rigid in behavior not willing to compromise) poor health due to neglect and or alcoholism to defeat the blues... or boredom. Often time its compromising and settling for less because they knew what they had... and its never the same! Often compared to trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
Let's talk about the friendship factor! As I said to my co-worker lets face it sex changes. When that's all gone what's left? You better hope you really like that other person! The desires are still there but it varies with big degrees of physical health and shape. Biological factors play such a big role and as the need for sex changes for women, the drive for a man stays the same. * Read the "Viagra Diaries" by Barbara Brooker!!!! That book sums it up nicely! After being with someone for so long you know what works, what doesn't and all those gears worked in some timely manner although the things you have had in common are gone and now meeting someone else and "getting involved" is like going on a job interview. EXHAUSTING!
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***A segment in my book: Hank says, " She may not be perfect but she is perfect for me." Beau replied with a deer in the headlight look and screamed, " What?? is she a drunk too? Did she compulsively cheat on her partner also? Did she also neglect her kid? Oh, wait that's right the judge gave her custody away! Right? What?? is she known for physically and emotionally beating up her significant other? Did she steal money and let someone else take the fall? Did she too use people to get what she wanted because it's just easier to destroy the people you claim to love?" He stood there saying nothing... a mirror image is what he had found himself with his latest. Alike had attracted alike. Wanting to throw his beer bottle at her... she stood there staking her ground and she was not backing down.
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What doesn't kill you! I'd like to laugh or even chuckle but moving in any direction sometimes takes an uncalculated risk. Some situations become a risk and how you handle your ever-present move depends on how you not so smoothly recovered from the last.
We were leaving Gatlinburg Tenn, after a 2-night stay. Wanting to help with bags from our hotel room, I was doing a jig in the hallway dancing to some beat of my own. My guy, as he opened the door, started laughing, he knows I'll just start swaying for no particular reason... he said, " you are perfect for me" I laughed and continued to dance and grabbed a bag! As we headed out for the open road! Adventure and exploration! A girl and her camera and a guy and with his girl!
Meet me in St. Louis
Kitryn Marie
If you would like to learn how to find yourself after a devastating issue... I would love to have you in one of my LAW OF ATTRACTION classes. Discovering how you too can have the life you deserve. Putting together a vision board to manifest the life you dream! https://kmgraphicapparelandart.weebly.com
