Ability To Change And Your Willingness To Do So
The ability to change up your life, your job, your happiness, your location ...your disposition, depends on how willing you are to change the stagnant environment that you have allowed yourself to form and live in. Time is fluid and headspace... matters! Your mindset has to be at its most prime to be willing to go through some pretty uncomfortable situations in order to grow and change from what you have only known! A person cannot keep doing the same thing hoping miraculously something is going to give when you are downright miserably unhappy. Miserable comfort zones often exist in our surroundings without fail... it is just easier to keep doing the same thing over and over and over. Growth requires change! Growth hurts in ways inconceivable to the average Joe who never challenges himself. He never learns to trust what is so unfamiliar seeing where it can lead... he ends up often right back to where he started! He threw in the towel and gave into ...the same! When you choose the same you get what you got!
Unfamiliar situations and red flags may go hand in hand but when there is a detrimental change to an environment one has to assess the difference. Unfamiliar is just something you are not used to and in the beginning, can be awkward to a feeling but when red flags appear it is a warning to a situation telling yourself... there are things in this circumstance that is not right and you need to be very vigilant to how it is making you feel. (uncomfortable and not at ease ...possibly on edge!) Needless to say, we have two very different scenarios.
A narcissist man will change out woman after woman leaving out all the intricate details of the last or the past keeping the new woman in the dark about situations that occurred. Leaving her to guesswork some very odd behavior. Where in the beginning, the new relationship might have a few wonderful perks... over a period, pieces of conversations, time and matters ultimately do not add up triggering those red flags. She might blow off the sensation because she thinks no big deal, she is imagining it, she probably got some info confused and he has made her believe she is over thinking but as situational behavior starts to happen in patterns, the signals sent to the parasympathetic system once again arise. Actions not matching words and stories that change each time discussed. These are red flags not to be ignored. That change that you are trying to build will come with a heavy burden leading you to a miserable comfort zone not able to escape!
Changing jobs and not knowing exactly how the new company's system works can be frustrating and awkward at best. When a person is so used to doing things one way it is hard to rewire the mind in doing something completely different. As tools advance, computer programs and even social media changes when you are used to maneuvering in a robotic way or even on autopilot, slowing your mind down to reconfigure another manual motion is at first very tough. Changing routine is aggravating when you are needing to slow down a process when you are in a hurry to get a task done.
Location location location!!! Thank goodness for GPS these days. I can not imagine how in the world we managed before! I can not imagine moving to a new location without knowing and studying the neighborhoods and the different types/cultures of people that live within a few miles radius. The safety issues that have to be taken into account darn right scary because one wrong turn and you could end up in an area you are not familiar with. The new roads and the new routes leaving you nervous because you have no clue where you are at. Uncomfortable situations leave a person just a bit anxious. New living arrangements, environments compiled with nervousness often linger ... til some form of well being is made sound. If you are not feeling at ease you need to assess the why in that sphere. (Red flags are a way of warning for potential danger)
Now let us switch this a bit, let's talk about that person that stays in the same relationship for years on end, knowing it hasn't worked in quite some time. The love, the passion, the camaraderie is just gone. There is nothing left in that relationship but a bunch of bills and a mortgage. Tied together by obligation and finances... and if kids are involved it now is some kind of "business entity" that they have to communally be responsible for. The problem is that the mundane routine they created has now become the only way to live. It is the same activity every day. Get up, go to the same job doing the same boring thing, with the same lifeless people, maybe he stops off after work so he doesn't have to go home. She does her thing so she does not have to deal with him. ( maybe kids are teens almost grown, a financial aggravation because they never taught them to do things for themselves. Hand out after handouts...) Both avoiding another financial meltdown... give me, give me, give me! They really dislike each other. More likely they can not stand each other. They all live separate lives in the same house being miserably unhappy in that miserable comfort zone they built together. In order for each, growth would have to occur and to be happy... they would physically have to change the situation and separate and start all over! Alone doing something completely different on their own!!!!! Being accountable and responsible for SELF! Starting over is painful!!!! It is one foot in front of the other praying you are not going to fall over in that second step. Coming out of a miserable sufficiency takes strength and the willingness to be brave and figure it out as you go along! The uncertainty that follows any break-up, divorce and in death.
Even in relationships, people who are hell bent on coupling up will ultimately choose the same kind of partner because they are familiar with the "type" It is pleasurable!!! Their inner vibration is drawn to the same...in the beginning, it feels like you met your true mate so many things in common. You may say "oh he is so wonderful! Oh, my love! We connect on so many levels" only to find out the person that you ran away from in your last relationship will be the same kind and have the same trait as the last, untimely will destroy and end this partnership. Growth, evolvement, and awakenings come from choosing different and allowing yourself to be uncomfortable for the sake of real growth and progress. If your last boyfriend/ husband was an addict/alcoholic with a police record a mile long... (because it was EXCITING) guess what? And guys if your last girlfriend was an obnoxious, in your face, loud mouth looking to have a good time and take you for a "ride"... ( because you needed someone to share a bunch of drinks with you)... hello!
Our whole lives are made up of small customary pieces of a personal puzzle. The pieces that we strategically fit into complacent patterns and places in our hearts, homes, jobs, and lives, depends on how we shape the environments that have become our ordinary ways of doing things. Most do not stop to learn, In order to find real inner contentment, joy, happiness is to keep yourself out of stagnant situations that do not allow you to PROGRESS and stop committing yourself to the same poor habitual choices and doing the same lifeless one-way thing on a routine basis. Routine is deadly enough but if you think your happiness is going to miraculously show up disguised in something recognizably... comforting, I question your intelligent ability in knowing the difference?
Just because this is all you know that does not mean this is all there is! For the love of not dancing with the devil and falling down some bleak repeated path, do something different for a change! Pick different, choose differently, be different, act different, dress different...eat differently! Stop doing things the same way for the sake of opulence!
Time is fluid and headspace matters! Your mindset has to be at its most prime to be willing to go through some pretty uncomfortable situations in order to grow and change from what you have only known.
Meet Me In St. Louis
Kitryn Marie
http://kitryn-marie.weebly.com
#personalmentor #bizcoach #speaker
Unfamiliar situations and red flags may go hand in hand but when there is a detrimental change to an environment one has to assess the difference. Unfamiliar is just something you are not used to and in the beginning, can be awkward to a feeling but when red flags appear it is a warning to a situation telling yourself... there are things in this circumstance that is not right and you need to be very vigilant to how it is making you feel. (uncomfortable and not at ease ...possibly on edge!) Needless to say, we have two very different scenarios.
A narcissist man will change out woman after woman leaving out all the intricate details of the last or the past keeping the new woman in the dark about situations that occurred. Leaving her to guesswork some very odd behavior. Where in the beginning, the new relationship might have a few wonderful perks... over a period, pieces of conversations, time and matters ultimately do not add up triggering those red flags. She might blow off the sensation because she thinks no big deal, she is imagining it, she probably got some info confused and he has made her believe she is over thinking but as situational behavior starts to happen in patterns, the signals sent to the parasympathetic system once again arise. Actions not matching words and stories that change each time discussed. These are red flags not to be ignored. That change that you are trying to build will come with a heavy burden leading you to a miserable comfort zone not able to escape!
Changing jobs and not knowing exactly how the new company's system works can be frustrating and awkward at best. When a person is so used to doing things one way it is hard to rewire the mind in doing something completely different. As tools advance, computer programs and even social media changes when you are used to maneuvering in a robotic way or even on autopilot, slowing your mind down to reconfigure another manual motion is at first very tough. Changing routine is aggravating when you are needing to slow down a process when you are in a hurry to get a task done.
Location location location!!! Thank goodness for GPS these days. I can not imagine how in the world we managed before! I can not imagine moving to a new location without knowing and studying the neighborhoods and the different types/cultures of people that live within a few miles radius. The safety issues that have to be taken into account darn right scary because one wrong turn and you could end up in an area you are not familiar with. The new roads and the new routes leaving you nervous because you have no clue where you are at. Uncomfortable situations leave a person just a bit anxious. New living arrangements, environments compiled with nervousness often linger ... til some form of well being is made sound. If you are not feeling at ease you need to assess the why in that sphere. (Red flags are a way of warning for potential danger)
Now let us switch this a bit, let's talk about that person that stays in the same relationship for years on end, knowing it hasn't worked in quite some time. The love, the passion, the camaraderie is just gone. There is nothing left in that relationship but a bunch of bills and a mortgage. Tied together by obligation and finances... and if kids are involved it now is some kind of "business entity" that they have to communally be responsible for. The problem is that the mundane routine they created has now become the only way to live. It is the same activity every day. Get up, go to the same job doing the same boring thing, with the same lifeless people, maybe he stops off after work so he doesn't have to go home. She does her thing so she does not have to deal with him. ( maybe kids are teens almost grown, a financial aggravation because they never taught them to do things for themselves. Hand out after handouts...) Both avoiding another financial meltdown... give me, give me, give me! They really dislike each other. More likely they can not stand each other. They all live separate lives in the same house being miserably unhappy in that miserable comfort zone they built together. In order for each, growth would have to occur and to be happy... they would physically have to change the situation and separate and start all over! Alone doing something completely different on their own!!!!! Being accountable and responsible for SELF! Starting over is painful!!!! It is one foot in front of the other praying you are not going to fall over in that second step. Coming out of a miserable sufficiency takes strength and the willingness to be brave and figure it out as you go along! The uncertainty that follows any break-up, divorce and in death.
Even in relationships, people who are hell bent on coupling up will ultimately choose the same kind of partner because they are familiar with the "type" It is pleasurable!!! Their inner vibration is drawn to the same...in the beginning, it feels like you met your true mate so many things in common. You may say "oh he is so wonderful! Oh, my love! We connect on so many levels" only to find out the person that you ran away from in your last relationship will be the same kind and have the same trait as the last, untimely will destroy and end this partnership. Growth, evolvement, and awakenings come from choosing different and allowing yourself to be uncomfortable for the sake of real growth and progress. If your last boyfriend/ husband was an addict/alcoholic with a police record a mile long... (because it was EXCITING) guess what? And guys if your last girlfriend was an obnoxious, in your face, loud mouth looking to have a good time and take you for a "ride"... ( because you needed someone to share a bunch of drinks with you)... hello!
Our whole lives are made up of small customary pieces of a personal puzzle. The pieces that we strategically fit into complacent patterns and places in our hearts, homes, jobs, and lives, depends on how we shape the environments that have become our ordinary ways of doing things. Most do not stop to learn, In order to find real inner contentment, joy, happiness is to keep yourself out of stagnant situations that do not allow you to PROGRESS and stop committing yourself to the same poor habitual choices and doing the same lifeless one-way thing on a routine basis. Routine is deadly enough but if you think your happiness is going to miraculously show up disguised in something recognizably... comforting, I question your intelligent ability in knowing the difference?
Just because this is all you know that does not mean this is all there is! For the love of not dancing with the devil and falling down some bleak repeated path, do something different for a change! Pick different, choose differently, be different, act different, dress different...eat differently! Stop doing things the same way for the sake of opulence!
Time is fluid and headspace matters! Your mindset has to be at its most prime to be willing to go through some pretty uncomfortable situations in order to grow and change from what you have only known.
Meet Me In St. Louis
Kitryn Marie
http://kitryn-marie.weebly.com
#personalmentor #bizcoach #speaker
