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Character Development

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 It's Monday, and it's raining. The house AC is once again on the fritz, and I am over it. It's hot! The car will be taken back to the shop for the sixth time (once I arrange for it to be towed), and I am considering filing yet another complaint with the Attorney General. While driving over the weekend, a loud pop, snap, and thud is coming from the rear wheels, or, my guess, the suspension is shot. I am pissed beyond anything in my control. I want resolve and I want it now! My patience has run thin, and holding my composure may get ugly. I have been on a staycation since Thurs and I return to the gig tomorrow. I laugh with heartfelt sincerity. There was a glitch in the scheduling. A system fail. My request was approved weeks ago, but somehow my name was put in last night's roster. Simultaneously, my GM, Assistant Manager, and my co-worker texted, WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU OK? WHY AREN'T YOU HERE? They all had me worried... I texted back each with the same reply: I am o...

When Did We Stop Caring How We Show Up?

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  Image, Illness and The Psychology of Self-Respect I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, especially after seeing a post that stirred a firestorm. Someone simply asked, “ When did it become acceptable to leave the house looking like we’ve given up? ” And instantly, people pounced. Accusations flew. The comment was called shallow, outdated, even cruel. But here’s the truth. That question didn’t insult people. It triggered them. Because, deep down, many women no longer recognize themselves. They don’t know how to come back to the version of themselves who once cared about how they walked through the world. I know that woman. I was her. There was a time in my life when I was unraveling. My relationship, eight years of loyalty and faulted love, collapsed in betrayal. ( Let me mention that talking about a process that you went through is true healing. If it triggers someone else, that is their reflection of a lack of empathy and has nothing to do with you or dismisses what y...

A Loud Knowing

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 My birthday came and went quietly. No grand gestures. No unexpected magic. Just the simplicity of yard work, the soft joy of planting flowers, and the peaceful solitude of floating in the pool while the sun cast shadows across my shoulders, waiting for that storm to blow through. My youngest surprised me with two coffee drinks. My counter part who I share my position with brought me decadent cupcakes and a card that resembled my princess pony. A card was left for me at work by the monthly regular table of twenty. One of the younger girls texted me a sweet birthday wish. And that was merely enough because I no longer expect anyone to bring me what I now know how to give myself. (I'll see the other kids and grandkids tonight) But still... I felt it. That ache. That whisper of longing. Not for material gifts or surprises but for the unexpected osmosis of connection . The kind that can’t be planned or scheduled. The kind that happens when two people really see each other in the ...

If I Had a Hammer

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 I have gotten very good at metaphorically telling stories and using a play on words, since my book has been recognized and published. It has given way to another creative endeavor on how I look at things and who I am, and what I am trying to achieve towards a higher purpose. Once you learn something, you can not unlearn it, and once you see something, it can never be unseen. Psych 101 #narcbehavior #awareness #artenrichment Education is a powerful tool. *A freshly covered, painted mask may offer a fleeting illusion, much like staining old wood to give it the appearance of renewed strength. Yet beneath that polished surface, the fibers often remain compromised, riddled with tiny passageways where insects have long feasted. When someone wraps themselves in a bright new persona, hoping to obscure a history of shame, lies, and guilt, they forget that untreated damage does not simply vanish. It festers. It’s like erecting walls over weakened joists, ignoring the signs of strain until t...

Connections~Conditions~The Programming

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 Running mouths gather feet; it's been that type of week. Once again, I have experienced true colors and the lack of compassion shown for change, loss, and heart-aching devastation. I have absolutely no room in my life for petty, take-backers and people who gossip because nothing in their own personal life has offered them peace, contentment, and soul-satisfying connections. These people are not happy unless they can create discord and wreak havoc in others' lives. While processing... It's been a week! My anxiety is on high alert. I read energy so well, I see motives and madness in the works before it presents itself. In real-time, as a collective, watch who you can consider an ally, friend, or family member. Look at behavior and for the love of... if they gossip to you about others, I promise you, your feet are running in their mouths too.   I cannot stress enough: turn the TV off. You are not qualified to run this country, so therefore unless you truly understand how ...

Pioneering Into The Unknown

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 I think I possibly aged a bit more in the last several weeks. A turn of events I was not expecting, but knew at some point I would have to face. My princess pony passed with no visible signs other than slowed down, lethargic, and did not want to eat. She was never a fan of the extreme heat, but who is? I received a call while at my 2nd gig, she laid down and died. It was the phone call I did not want. Rushing out, I headed that way to a harrowing experience. They had already hoisted her in the truck, and upon arriving, I ran to the truck, threw my leg up on the bumper that was 4 feet off the ground, put my hand in the air to be pulled up, and did some Spider-Man move that only adrenaline can account for. Devastated is the only word to describe the emotions. Telling her, "go find grandpa" ( my dad). He has you now, Bruce'ms will show you the way." Inconsalable. She took her last breath alone, a guilt I can not let go of. I was with her the evening before and even rod...

Return On Interest...POV

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 I apply my Life coaching skills in my everyday life, regardless of which hat I am wearing for the day. Let me ask, What's the point? What has been proven? What have you learned? And with all that, where are you finding yourself? How did all that work out for you? (Here is your mirror.)  #reflect Now tell me how you feel and what is actually happening (with you?) The mask has fallen, and the pretense is D-O-N-E #LIFECOACHING101 It is June 13, we are almost dab-smack in the middle of the month. The mildest and rainiest June STL has seen in years. Today has a Wisconsin fall feel. I am ok with it. It can rain. Possibly it will wash away whatever misery Missouri seems to harbor. The mood of most is complacent, going through the motions, working with what's in front of them, and not happy or content with any of it, and it's a meaningless disposition. I feel it and I see it everywhere. The discontent from life is silent screaming, and no one is paying attention because the tunne...