So This Is What 52 Looks Like... July 17th
Amazing... Yes this is how I view turning 52. Who would have thought the girl from Grand and Bates would still have her head in the clouds and still be searching for fame and fortune? I have yet to give up... on anything! From where I am standing (ok sitting right now), I feel like I am about to embark on the best journey! I feel a door to "something" is finally cracking open and I am seeing a light. Who cares how bright that light is...all I care about is I see one!
Wow 52!!! I think there is a lot to say for that! I will say this year started out quite the challenge. In January I was diagnosed with a chronic Leukemia (which is in a manageable stage), I have had severe female problems and despite it all my anxiety seems to be in check! I am ok with where I am! Physically, I am feeling better!
My art is moving!!!! My writings are being noticed and finally I am very ok with the person I have evolved into.
Do you know what it is like to be able to be comfortable in your own skin and not feel like you are doing something wrong? The past has left... it does not follow me and I am able to talk about it with out too much overwhelming emotion. Although my whole existence is made up in female emotion! It is just a nice change to be able to laugh at myself and with myself??? I have found that giggle that use to shadow me as a child.
When I look in the mirror my vibrant green eyes still light up with amazement, enthusiasm and excitement. My larger petite frame is holding up more than well and on many a good day this old girl can still walk three miles! The gray hairs that seem to frame my face, I find I don't care and if I look really really close, I see a woman that has triumphantly defeated the dragons...How brilliant is that? LOL
The calm that wants to invade my space... I love and am allowing!!! Now if only my guy would invade that same space... I'd love that even more...but what the hell, I can tell him ANYTHING! It doesn't matter because he gets me!!!! understands me and he LOVES me...just sometimes he does it from a distant! Although it should matter...it really doesn't matter. At 52 I have learned, I don't need to convince anybody to love me and I don't need to coerce anyone to come closer! If he can't see "amazing" lol... than he is beyond...dumb! lol Which leads me to this sense of humor I have found. For once in my life I don't feel the need to be so serious... this smile I wear, I might add, I wear really well and it suits me and it makes people question?????? What is she up to?
It would seem too, this appreciation in the way I see my children , their great accomplishments and what wonderful beings they have become. I could burst with parental pride! Although, their mother is still a grand work in progress, they have figured it out! What an achievement for such young adults...and as for my youngest, he is turning into a teenager and he too is finding his way! (and for all parties involved I am loosening the apron strings on him! With the first two,,, I would have rather had my feet tied with stones.) There is something to be said for the "middle" years of being a parent... although not quite friends yet they still want to talk to their mom...well at least my boys do! As for my daughter, her and I have come to agree to disagree! And I am ok with that! Amen....
This new view has even allowed me to look at my canvas'/paintings differently. I am learning to stretch my imagination and go beyond what is embedded. I am no longer rushed to finish. I now start, walk away, look at it a few days and then continue on. I know it has something to do with that calm!!! I love the calm...I love the calm...Let me say it again I love the calm!
Why is it we go through a whole life just to get to a place that doesn't all seem to have too much of an urgency to get anywhere? I am appreciating this fabulous stage in life and I am respecting this space of time.
Oh it ain't over...No sir!!! It is not! You watch... at 52 Bright lights and big cities just might be in my forecast and the beckoning of fame and fortune may just be calling too! No sirreee, It ain't over! From my lips to God's ears... I am on the best journey! It is a discovery of life and all that is still left to be had! Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 52 never looked so good!
Meet Me In St. Louis,
Kitryn Marie
Wow 52!!! I think there is a lot to say for that! I will say this year started out quite the challenge. In January I was diagnosed with a chronic Leukemia (which is in a manageable stage), I have had severe female problems and despite it all my anxiety seems to be in check! I am ok with where I am! Physically, I am feeling better!
My art is moving!!!! My writings are being noticed and finally I am very ok with the person I have evolved into.
Do you know what it is like to be able to be comfortable in your own skin and not feel like you are doing something wrong? The past has left... it does not follow me and I am able to talk about it with out too much overwhelming emotion. Although my whole existence is made up in female emotion! It is just a nice change to be able to laugh at myself and with myself??? I have found that giggle that use to shadow me as a child.
When I look in the mirror my vibrant green eyes still light up with amazement, enthusiasm and excitement. My larger petite frame is holding up more than well and on many a good day this old girl can still walk three miles! The gray hairs that seem to frame my face, I find I don't care and if I look really really close, I see a woman that has triumphantly defeated the dragons...How brilliant is that? LOL
The calm that wants to invade my space... I love and am allowing!!! Now if only my guy would invade that same space... I'd love that even more...but what the hell, I can tell him ANYTHING! It doesn't matter because he gets me!!!! understands me and he LOVES me...just sometimes he does it from a distant! Although it should matter...it really doesn't matter. At 52 I have learned, I don't need to convince anybody to love me and I don't need to coerce anyone to come closer! If he can't see "amazing" lol... than he is beyond...dumb! lol Which leads me to this sense of humor I have found. For once in my life I don't feel the need to be so serious... this smile I wear, I might add, I wear really well and it suits me and it makes people question?????? What is she up to?
It would seem too, this appreciation in the way I see my children , their great accomplishments and what wonderful beings they have become. I could burst with parental pride! Although, their mother is still a grand work in progress, they have figured it out! What an achievement for such young adults...and as for my youngest, he is turning into a teenager and he too is finding his way! (and for all parties involved I am loosening the apron strings on him! With the first two,,, I would have rather had my feet tied with stones.) There is something to be said for the "middle" years of being a parent... although not quite friends yet they still want to talk to their mom...well at least my boys do! As for my daughter, her and I have come to agree to disagree! And I am ok with that! Amen....
This new view has even allowed me to look at my canvas'/paintings differently. I am learning to stretch my imagination and go beyond what is embedded. I am no longer rushed to finish. I now start, walk away, look at it a few days and then continue on. I know it has something to do with that calm!!! I love the calm...I love the calm...Let me say it again I love the calm!
Why is it we go through a whole life just to get to a place that doesn't all seem to have too much of an urgency to get anywhere? I am appreciating this fabulous stage in life and I am respecting this space of time.
Oh it ain't over...No sir!!! It is not! You watch... at 52 Bright lights and big cities just might be in my forecast and the beckoning of fame and fortune may just be calling too! No sirreee, It ain't over! From my lips to God's ears... I am on the best journey! It is a discovery of life and all that is still left to be had! Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 52 never looked so good!
Meet Me In St. Louis,
Kitryn Marie
