I'm Singing In The Rain
In life, the rain must fall! Thank goodness for writing, lifeboats, and rain boots! I've had my share of precipitation. #enough. Eventually, the dam breaks, and the water tables even out, right? It is everywhere, and as I said to a co-worker just recently, "Stand back, something is about to implode." Typically, I get the look of, "What do you mean?" It was met with, "Yeah, I feel it too."
Let us forget about Mercury going retrograde, Venus being in conjunct, or Aries just being in the f..k'n way, and something about an eclipse and the end of a 14-year cycle. Everything in each of our lives is off, out of balance, and way off kilter! We are all sick of it!
I have mentioned impetuous decisions and impulse reactions to prove a point or to take the stand, "I'll show you!" I have stood back and have braced myself for impact. A Tonja Tucker song comes to mind, "its a little to late to do the right thing now," but that still does not mean I shouldn't take cover! Incoming!
The battles within oneself and the battles brought on by consequence. The things a few never thought to have a forefront picture on "How did you think this would look like?" Jumping into hasty choices with no decisiveness for follow-through at the end...when things would go belly up! And it's everywhere, and it is affecting everyone.
I have spent the last 11 months taking cover. I am at peace, and I do not want to be disturbed or blamed for someone else's reactive behavior! I've said it once and I will say it again! You chose that! You made that decision and from the looks and the talk of it... "You look worse for wear." It is beyond an age thing too! It's lifestyle and poor decisions based on neglect and ignorance! #lifecoaching You look in the mirror, you ruffle your hair, you splash water on your face and glance at the reflection that once said there is hope and time... and now you have neither.
You have detached, disappeared, and dived so deep into yourself (work), you can't even find yourself. It is what it is, has become it is, and it's uncomfortable. The dam is breaking, the knees are weakening, and the heart is faint... til it all gives way. Then what? How did you think this would look? Where was the forefront plan? Prepareness? a sequel to? Ah the next chapter with no resolution! {This scenario applies to many things... Only you the reader, can decipher how this reflects}
I can spin it any way I choose, I am the writer! Wake in the morning, out the door, barely showered...quick get away without having any conversation. Angry and dismissive! Once self-made made now not even self-directed! Gawd it's too early to think... it's just BS! Get in the vehicle, start the engine... sit. Wait for it to warm up... thoughts? Not now... the day ahead. Just do the damn job. Put up with the circus... it is your monkeys. You signed up for the acts, and the balance is teetering on coffee and your ability to just get through the f'kn day! Your paycheck... your name! and your, lol, honor! Ha you signed on... took on and the liability is your name signed on that ticket, license and job order! You chose that... your body aches and your mind is null and void! There is nothing to feel because emotion went way out the door years back while you were trying to prove something to somebody! That you were someone!!!
Storms are upon us! Clouds are gathering quick... preserve what's left! Every man for themselves! No time for change now... it was just an impetuous decision. The right thing to do at the time, without ever thinking about what the consequences would be down the line. Man!!! Where was the follow-through thought on this...
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The Spiral
Days turned into weeks, and Hank’s world continued to crumble. The once polished, confident man who had walked into every room with a sense of entitlement now shuffled around in a haze of exhaustion and self-doubt. His business was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. His health, once a reflection of his relentless drive, now betrayed him with every step.
The headaches were constant. His vision blurred. He couldn’t sleep. He felt the weight of his lies—those twisted stories he’d woven—bearing down on him like an anvil. His body, too, had begun to show the signs of the abuse he’d inflicted upon it over the years. The long nights of whiskey and bad decisions had caught up with him. But it wasn’t just his body that was deteriorating. His mind, once sharp and calculating, was growing foggy.
He tried to go to work, to push through, but his hands shook as he signed papers and looked over accounts. His staff, those who had once been loyal to him, now whispered behind his back. Even his closest confidants—the ones he had promised the world to—were pulling away, seeing him for who he truly was. A man who had lied, manipulated, and, worst of all, destroyed everything good in his life.
One night, in the dark, empty quiet of his office, Hank sat alone. His fingers drummed the edge of his desk, a nervous habit he hadn’t had in years. He should have been grateful for the few remaining deals that had kept him afloat, but there was no satisfaction in them. There was no thrill in the victories he had fought so hard to claim.
A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.
“Come in,” Hank’s voice was hoarse. He didn’t look up. He didn’t need to.
A young intern stepped inside—one of the few still loyal to him. She handed him a file, a report on the company’s declining performance. “We’ve lost another investor, Hank,” she said softly. “There’s talk that your public image is… affecting the bottom line.”
He glanced up at her then, eyes bloodshot, face pale. The desperation was there—he could see it in her eyes. She didn’t say it, but she was afraid of what might happen next. Afraid of what Hank might do to salvage the mess he had created. And she was right to be afraid.
“Just leave it on my desk,” Hank muttered, waving her off, but his mind was already racing. What more could he do? Every decision he made felt like the wrong one. Every move he made now was a desperate attempt to fix what was unfixable.
He looked back at the file and noticed a letter from Kate—the woman he had once manipulated, the woman he had thought he could control. She had written a piece, a tell-all article that was going to run in a major newspaper. He had read it once, but he couldn’t bring himself to read it again. In it, she didn’t just expose him; she dismantled everything he had ever claimed to be. She wrote about the lies, the manipulation, the abandonment. And worse—she spoke of the way he had used and abused the people who had loved him most.
His stomach churned.
In that moment, Hank realized he had no one left to blame. No more victims to play. No more women to con into believing he could give them a life they dreamed of. He was standing alone on an island of his own making. And the tide was rising, crashing against the shore, threatening to drown him in the very mess he’d created.
He had always been able to outrun consequences—until now. He had run out of time.
Days later, in the dead of night, the headlines hit.
“Self-Made Tycoon Hank Daniels Crumbles as Lies and Manipulations Unravel”
“Once Famed Revealed as Fraud: The Shocking Truth Behind Hank Daniels”
Hank sat in his office, reading the article over and over, the words blurring in front of him. He could feel his pulse racing, his heart pounding in his chest. Sweat dripped from his brow as he slammed the paper down, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
It was over.
But then, something strange happened.
He looked out the window and saw the reflection of himself in the glass—the man he had become. He didn’t recognize him. The man staring back was a broken version of the man he had once been. The man who had promised everything but delivered nothing. The man who had built his empire on deception, and now, that empire was collapsing around him.
The exhaustion hit him harder now. It wasn’t just physical; it was spiritual, emotional, and mental. Hank felt like he was sinking—like he was being swallowed whole by his own mistakes. His health, once so strong, was failing. He could barely catch his breath. And yet, despite it all, he couldn’t escape the gnawing feeling that he was still trapped in the cycle of his own making.
And then, just as the world outside his window felt like it was spinning out of control, a thought crossed his mind—a thought that chilled him to the bone.
What if it’s not too late?
But before he could finish the thought, a knock at the door interrupted him again. He couldn’t bring himself to answer it. Instead, he slumped further in his chair, burying his face in his hands.
There was no escaping this. No running. No more lies. No more manipulation
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It is what it is... until it isn't! Tonja Tucker, "I was up all night wondering what to do but it's a little too late to do the right thing now"
I'm here just singing in the rain! Stay tuned...
Kitryn Marie
PS: At this point, my character can be any man dealing with his life's regrets and poor decisions!
